


Never Go To A Stark Party

by ama2703



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Bottom Bucky, Frequent updates, M/M, Male Pregnancy, Mpreg, Stucky - Freeform, Top Steve, bruce doesnt have a phd for delivering babies, bucky is stressed, doesnt follow the story line of the movies, god father tony, kinda OOC, pepper is supportive af, postserum steve, steve is insecure, supportive Natasha, talks of abortion, tony is confused lol
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-21
Updated: 2019-05-28
Packaged: 2019-06-14 03:39:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 18
Words: 25,410
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15379854
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ama2703/pseuds/ama2703
Summary: Bucky just couldn't catch a break, could he? No, the universe just had it in for him. Something as simple as a laid-back night with his best friend, Steve, was just too much to ask for.---After attending one of Tony's parties, Bucky's been sick ever since. Cursed with morning sickness and the urge to pee every second, he had no idea what was going on with him. It wasn't until after speaking to Natasha did he come to a terrible, terrible conclusion. He was pregnant.But that wasn't the worst part, surprisingly. Steve was acting strangely around him, always looking at him and telling him they should talk about Tony's party.He may have been a lot of things, but stupid wasn't one of them. He knew that talking about that night would only bring another headache, so he would be damned if he was caught alone in the same room as Steve long enough to venture out to that topic.





	1. Chapter 1

Bucky was stuck between a rock and a hard place. That was how simple his situation really was. He couldn’t move, couldn’t talk about what was happening to him, and couldn’t complain about it. He was at a standstill. 

A loud groan left him. He shook his head, exhausted, and leaned back against the wall of the bathroom. His eyes closed instantly once he grew accustomed to the hard feeling.

“This is insane…”

However as he spoke the words, the feeling of the pregnancy test in his left hand made itself known. 

He then sighed a heavy sigh. Nevermind. 

How and why this was happening to him, he didn’t know. All he did know was that he had been experiencing terrible morning sickness for the past month, and his desire for plums had increased tenfold. Oh, and he couldn’t forget the fact that, after discussing his concerns with Natasha and taking the advice she gave him, he discovered he was pregnant. 

This was far too much for the ex-assassin.

Startling him, a knock sounded against the restroom door. A concerned, “Bucky?” followed quickly after. 

The brunette hurriedly shoved the pregnancy test into his pocket then shot up from the floor. He cleared his throat before fixing his clothes and opening the door.

“Y-yes?”

Steve looked at him, shocked and with concern in his baby blue eyes because of the fact that his stoic friend seemed anxious, then opened his mouth to speak. 

“You ok, pal? You’ve been in the restroom for a while now…”

The brunette merely countered his friend’s attack with his signature smile and nodded. 

“Why wouldn’t I be?” 

After speaking the words, he brushed past the other quickly. The blonde grabbed his hand before he was out of reach, though, and forced him to stop.

Bucky exhaled a heavy breath softly before turning to face him.

“Yes, Steve…?”

He watched the other struggle to form the right words.

Biting his lip anxiously, the other man fiddled with his shirt. A few agonizingly silent moments ensued before Steve finally figured out how to word what he wanted to say. 

"We... need to talk. About last month. At Tony's party."

Bucky watched his friend, calculating his words, and tried not to cut the conversation short and runoff. The test that was in his pocket was weighing heavy in his jeans and even heavier on his heart. 

“Yeah, let’s do that, bud. Just… not right now. I’m busy.” 

Steve could only nod sadly and force an understanding smile onto his features. He was never one to argue or push his friend. If Bucky would have rather pushed the subject of that night off one more day or hour, he wouldn’t complain.

“If that’s what you want, Buck..” His smile turned a bit sadder as he gave a gentle squeeze to the rough man’s shoulder. Bucky, however, only rushed out a brief, “Thanks.” before proceeding to shrug Steve’s hand off and walk away.

A heavy sigh left the blonde when the other was gone. 

“Natasha.”

Hearing her name be called and then the slam of her door, Natasha looked up. 

Bucky threw the pregnancy test at her--she caught it in the nick of time--and collapsed beside her on her bed.

“Look at it.” He sighed out when she looked at him questioningly. 

Doing as she was told, she looked down at the test in her hands. Shock, then surprise, then disgust covered her face.

“Dude…”

“I know.”

“Do you really?”

“Natali--...Natasha, I’m the one who pissed on the damn thing. I think I’d know.” 

“Then you’d know that you just made me touch a urine-covered pregnancy test.”

The redhead rolled her eyes before proceeding to throw the test at Bucky’s face. A few moments passed before a disgusted yelp left the man. He quickly ripped the test away from his face.

“Well, I guess I’m not too surprised.”

“Really?” Bucky glanced at her as he wiped at his face with his sleeve. 

“Yeah. I mean, you were acting exactly like a pregnant woman would. I remember when Clint’s wife was pregnant for the first time. She was throwing up all the time. It was kinda funny, actually.”  
A soft chuckle left Natasha which earned an eye roll from the other.

“So?” She said after a couple of silent moments passed. She looked up at Bucky questioningly. “Who’s the baby daddy?”

Bucky sighed heavily, his shoulders shrugging in response to her question.

“I don’t know. I don’t even remember doing it.” A light blush covered his cheeks once the words left his mouth. It was disheartening, having to say the words out loud. He, a womanizer in his golden days, had sex with a man and got pregnant from it. To say the words out loud was admitting that he laid with a man, and bottomed at that. 

Natasha sat up and rubbed his back. She had sensed his dejectedness.

“It’ll be alright, man. We’ll figure this out somehow. I won’t let you be a single mother. I’ll step in and be the kid’s daddy if I have to.”

Smirking in a comforting way, Natasha consoled Bucky. A while passed before the brunette was able to grin his signature grin.

“I just have one question. Am I gonna shit the kid out?”

He stared seriously at the redhead for a few moments before bursting into laughter, Natasha following him. 

“That’s the question?!” The female snickered even louder and was forced to wipe away the tears that were overflowing in her eyes because of laughing so much.

“What?! It’s a valid question! I don’t want the kid to be covered in shit when it’s born! That’d just be cruel, let alone disgusting.”

Natasha rolled her eyes after regaining her composure and playfully slapped Bucky’s back. 

“You just worry about finding the dad. The doctors can deal with...the shit part.” 

“Alright, alright, fine.”

The two conversed for a while more before Bucky decided it was time to leave and do what needed to be done. He gave the female a warm and tight hug before he left.  
Once he was out the door, he looked around. The halls of the large building seemed endless, making him feel small, inferior.

He had already been taken and had gotten pregnant from an experience he couldn’t even recall, so he was in a pretty fragile state. He felt emasculated, honestly.

He sighed lowly before beginning to walk back to his room. First, he would need to backtrack a month. He needed to pinpoint the exact day the baby was...conceived, and then figure out who he was with. Then, once he knew the culprit, he only had to make the man aware of the growing thing inside him. After that, everything would go smoothly, he hoped. They could both decide if the baby was worth keeping and then go on with their lives.

Yes, that sounded like a great plan to Bucky.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky explores the Avengers building and realizes he hasn't changed as much as he thinks. He also avoids doing what he needs to do.

Trying to pinpoint the exact day he had made whoopee with some stranger was harder than Bucky thought it’d be. He had next to no recollection of ever going around anyone, as he had been having terrible nightmares that left him locked in his bedroom all day long prior to his baby-making session. The only day he could even consider was the party that Steve had dragged him along to. 

Bucky sighed softly as he wracked his brain for any clue. All he remembered was hanging around Steve most of the night, occasionally drinking a few shots when Natasha forced him to and sulking. 

He exhaled heavily. It was clear to him that the weeks worth of not sleeping had clouded his head, resulting in him not remembering much. 

He decided to prod Natasha when he realized he would make no further progress. 

Walking into her room after cleaning himself up, he plopped down beside her on her bed. She glanced over at him as she tied the laces to her boots into a bow. 

“Hey.”

“What’s up?”

“I need help with pinpointing the day. I can’t remember anything. It’s like I’ve got amnesia all over again.” The brunette exhaled quietly, trying to mask the irritation in his voice. He was very clearly frustrated because of the lack of progress he had made. 

Standing up, the redhead glanced down sympathetically at Bucky. She ruffled his hair in before walking to the chair in the corner of her room and grabbing her bag off of it.

“I’d love to help you, Barnes, but I’ve got a mission right now. I don’t know when I’ll be back. I’m tackling some hotshot.” She walked back to the bed and sat beside him, an apologetic glint in her eyes. Bucky grumbled a few complaints before eventually accepting the fact that he’d have to deal with the situation himself and nodding in her direction.

“I’ve got a few minutes before I gotta go,” She spoke as she looked at her watch. “What have you got so far?”

The man instantly lit up. “Not too much, honestly. You’d think I’d be pretty good at hunting the fucker down considering I used to hunt people for decades, but I guess I lost all that when I gained my free will back.” He joked playfully before continuing. “But, uh, all I know is that I didn’t go anywhere before the...act. The nightmares had come back, I was basically paralyzed in bed again.”

“The act? Is that what you’re calling it?” The widow laughed softly and rolled her eyes, a secret attempt at diverting the conversation to something lighthearted so that the man didn’t have to dwell on anything negative.

“Don’t judge me.” Bucky scoffed playfully, nudging her shoulder. “What else am I supposed to call it? ‘Cause it certainly wasn’t an act of passion and love, it doesn’t deserve some fancy name. I don’t even remember it.” 

Natasha only shrugged and smiled. “So that’s all you got? You really do suck now.”

Bucky stuck his tongue out before continuing. “I didn’t finish. The only day I actually went out somewhere there were other people was when Steve took me to that party of Tony’s. I’m thinkin’ that’s where it happened. That’s the only possible way someone coulda got their hands on me.”

“Well,” Natasha began as she stood up. “Trust your gut and go with it. Find out who was at the party, where they were, and if anyone witnessed you getting dragged away by them. I gotta go.”

Bucky stood up and gave her a brisk hug before she could leave.

“Will do.” He spoke with a smile. She returned it easily and started walking out the room. Before she was out of arm's reach, however, the brunette stopped her. She turned to look at him, a questioning and slightly impatient look on her toned features.

“Thanks, Nat… You’ve really been a big help these past few months. I appreciate it.”

A soft chuckle left the woman’s mouth. She smiled genuinely and pulled the rugged man in for another hug, this time the embrace lasting much longer.

“No problem, Barnes. I know you need someone there for you, and it’s not like you can exactly tell Steve or Sam. I’m here for you, man.” She pulled away from the embrace momentarily to look at Bucky. “But now I really gotta go.”

Bucky laughed and nodded, pulling away. “See you around.”

“See ya, Barnes. Don’t give birth while I’m gone, alright?”

The two shared another laugh before Natasha departed, reminding the brunette to lock her door before he left. Bucky exhaled softly, feeling a lot better about the whole situation than he had before he spoke with the other ex-assassin.

After making sure he did as he was told, he walked around the halls of the large building he called home. He wracked his brain as he tried recalling who was at the party. His eyebrows furrowed as he thought.

“Clint and his wife were there… There was Tony, Nat, Steve…” He trailed off absentmindedly as he dug deeper into his brain so that he could remember more. “Banner… What’s that other guy’s name…? Sam. Yeah.” He laughed softly to himself as he picked on the man despite him not being there to hear and give a rebuttal.

He stopped walking when he reached the door that led to the balcony. Smiling slightly, he opened the door and walked out to the ledge. Below and all around him stood countless skyscrapers, buildings, factories, houses, and much more than he cared to try and recall the name for. The busy sound of the city known as Manhattan filled his ears and warmed his heart with the faint nostalgia of the past and when he was in Brooklyn. 

A chuckle left his smiling lips as he recalled the warmth of his hometown and the trouble he and Steve used to get into. From the few memories he could remember as of that moment, it seemed to him as if he was always pulling the blonde out of a fight.

He smiled down at the city fondly. “He never changes, does he?” He asked himself quietly, replying to his question internally. No, he doesn’t. Too much of a softie to back out when there’s somethin’ worth fightin’ for, he answered.

A long while full of silence accompanied the man as he basked in long forgotten memories. Slowly, the sun in the sky began to set and the city’s hustle and bustle softened. The twinkle of the leisurely arriving stars, however, didn’t rival the spark in Bucky’s eyes.

As much as the world had hurt him, had beat him down and forced him to submit, called him a traitor and tried to silence him, he still loved it. The way the people of the places he had lived in never ceased to amaze him; they were so free, so graceful with the way they moved around and claimed ownership of themselves and the things they loved truly awed him; the way an animal forgave a human despite the way they were treated inspired him to, honestly, do the same; the new inventions, the new clothes, the new foods, the new forms of entertainment and expression always proved to be nothing short of extraordinary when it came to Bucky.

He had always loved big cities, the unique people that lived in them, the creations that were made by the people, and everything else that came with them. 

Nothing, not even HYDRA, could take that away from him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I kinda wandered off topic with this chapter, I'm sorry-
> 
> Next chapter will focus on the main conflict tho ;D


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve's starting to lose his patience and Bucky isn't helping.

A cool breeze that had appeared suddenly and out of nowhere forced Bucky to retreat back inside. Taking his time once more to stroll around the building, the brunette hummed softly. The deep tone of his voice carried the melody out far along the empty halls and ended up landing on Steve’s ears. 

He stopped the dull task of brushing his teeth and listened to the hummed song. Instantly, he recognized the voice. 

A smile rose to his face and he quickly pressed his ear to his bedroom door to hear it better. 

Bucky continued to hum, unknowing of the blonde listening closely to him and added a few soft-spoken words of the song’s lyrics. 

“And I think to myself…” He tapped his metal hand’s fingers on his left thigh to the beat of the song. “What a wonderful world…” Gradually, the volume of his voice rose. The old tune had been introduced to him by Natasha and had instantly become one of his favorite songs.

The deepness of his voice had certainly done justice for the song in Steve’s opinion, and as the brunette continued to hum and occasionally sing a few of the words, he found himself wanting to be closer to his friend so that he could hear it better.

Before he could even force himself to stop, he was opening his door and walking to the source of the beautiful humming.

Bucky stopped walking and humming when he came face to face with Steve, who was only a few feet in front of him. He cleared his throat, a bit embarrassed at the thought of Steve having heard him came to mind and tried forcing the blush in his cheeks to go away.

“Hey… You’re still up?” 

The blonde nodded slowly and scratched the back of his neck, feeling equally as awkward. “Yeah, just… Just lounging around in my room. Where were you earlier? I couldn’t find you.” 

Changing the subject as smoothly as he could once he realized how sappy and humiliating it would have been to admit that he was strolling around the halls late at night solely for the purpose of hearing his singing better, Steve leaned against the hallway wall.

Bucky shrugged in response and started walking away. He kept his eyes averted from his friend and his head up. Just being alone with his longtime companion scared him, and for reasons unknown. 

“Was out on the balcony… I’m gonna go to sleep, pal.” Stopping when he was ahead of the blonde, and more than a few feet away from him, he looked back at Steve. “Goodnight, Stevie.”

After waving slightly, Bucky resumed walking back to his room.

Steve watched his back as he retreated. Once the brunette was out of earshot, he released a heavy, sullen sigh. 

The distance that had grown between him and his friend hurt more than any bullet could. For weeks, Bucky had been avoiding Steve. He’d share only a few words with him and then run away, choose to spend time with Natasha instead of him.

It wasn’t like Steve was clingy or possessive, but he was Bucky’s friend. He was the one was willing to give it all up for the man, the one who would go to hell and back just to see Bucky’s face for a split second. He was the one who felt the strongest for Bucky. Why couldn’t Bucky see that?

Muttering depressed words to himself, the blonde walked back to his room and locked the door. He didn’t know what he did wrong--he had an idea, actually--, but he was going to fix it, even if it killed him. 

He fell asleep determined to mend the distance between him and his friend.

When he woke up, it was to the sound of Sam banging on his door. He groaned groggily before getting up from his comfy bed and opening his door.

“What?” He asked tiredly, a hint of irritation in his voice. Sam caught it immediately. 

“Someone’s feisty today.” He chuckled to himself as he pushed past Steve and entered his tidy room. He glanced over at the blonde as he made his way to the coffee machine in the kitchen part of the room. “You missed our morning jog. I waited at the park for nearly an hour.”

He laughed softly to himself when he heard his friend inhale sharply.

Steve looked up at Sam from his newly taken spot on the couch and smiled apologetically. 

“I’m sorry, man. I went to sleep late last night. I guess I slept through my alarm.”

Sam shrugged as he made himself a cup of coffee. “Figured something like that happened.” He poured creamer into his cup and stirred the mixture of black coffee and french vanilla flavoring together. 

“All is forgiven, Cap’.” 

He smirked over at the blonde man and sat across from him when he finished perfecting his cup of Joe.   
Steve laughed and rolled his eyes at the other. “I’ll make it up to you anyway. How’s a night at the bar sound? All drinks will be on me considering I probably won’t get anything. I’m cursed with the highest alcohol tolerance ever.”

Both men chuckled at the blonde’s statement. 

“It’s fine, really. Anyway, how have you been? How have things been with you and Bucky? Gotten any better?” He took a long sip from his cup after he asked the final question.

“Unfortunately… No. It’s still the same ol’ thing. He’s been avoiding me since the party.” Steve relaxed against the couch, continuing. “Honestly, flat-out rejection would be better at this point. I hate not being near him. It’s like he wants to torture me.”

It was difficult for the man to mask the hurt in his voice. Bucky not talking to him pained him more than he realized, and it showed easily to someone as close to him as Sam.

The other man set his cup down on one of the coasters on the coffee table and rested his hand on Steve’s shoulder. He pat it comfortingly when the blonde started closing in on himself.

“I’m sure that’s not the case, man. He’s probably just thinking everything over. You gotta keep your head up high, Cap’. Don’t get discouraged. If you guys are still as close as I know you are, he’ll warm up to you again soon enough. You just gotta give it some time.”

Steve only nodded numbly, that being the only thing he really could do in his fragile state. He knew that if he spoke he would break down, and he didn’t want to do that in front of Sam. He didn’t want to be a burden on his only friend.

After comforting the blonde for a while more, Sam decided it was time he returned home.

“Walk me out?” He asked with a smile, an attempt to get the man out of his room. If he knew Steve as well as he thought he did, he knew that the man would stay in his room after he left and sulk, drowning himself in depressed thoughts as he did so.

Steve offered a small smile and nodded. “Yeah, of course.”

Both men stood up from their spots on the couch and headed towards the door. Sam walked out first and was then followed by Steve. After closing his door, they began the short descent down the elevator to the first floor.

Sam glanced over at Steve as they neared the building’s entrance. He smiled when he saw that Steve’s mood had visibly lifted.

“I’ll see you around, yeah?”

The blonde nodded and quickly pulled the other man into a tight embrace. Sam laughed softly but strongly and hugged Steve back. He patted Steve’s back roughly. 

A few long moments passed before the men finally pulled away, both sharing the same fond, friendly looks.

“See ya, Sam. I won’t forget next time.”

The shorter man chuckled quietly and nodded. “You better not.” 

After waving, Sam finally took his leave and left. Steve watched him exit the building before turning to walk back to his room. However, before he looked away completely, he saw the familiar back of a   
man he so greatly cared for.

An affectionate smile immediately took its place on Steve’s lips. Despite the heartache he had just been feeling because of the man, he couldn’t help the warm feeling that pooled in his heart every time he saw his friend. 

“Bucky!” He called out to the other as he jogged to his side.

Greeting his friend with the simple act of putting his hand on his shoulder, Steve looked at Bucky. He took note of the way Bucky tensed then quickly relaxed as he looked up at him.

The involuntary action sent a prick of hurt through him momentarily before he pushed the feeling away and brightened his smile. Whatever had caused a fork in the road of their two interconnected paths as friends, Steve wasn’t going to let it push them apart any further. 

He wasn’t a masochist; he didn’t like the pain that arrived in his chest every time Bucky wordlessly rejected him. He was going to do whatever it took to bring them together again. The only problem, however, was that he didn’t know how much more he could take of Bucky’s absence. 

It would only be so long before he gave in to the desire to confront the brunette about his behavior. 

“Where you going, bud?” He asked with a surge of hope rushing through him. Persistence had always been one of his strengths. If he never gave up on mending their friendship, then surely even Bucky would have to give in. 

If not… Well, Steve decided not to think about that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to update every Saturday, but I'm way too excited about this story ;-;  
> I've got like 10 chapters written already, would you guys like me to publish a few of them? The only reason I haven't yet is that I'm unsure if it'd still be getting the same amount of reads it is now. So please tell me what you'd like! I'm more than willing to supply <3  
> Things are only gonna get more dramatic from here >;D


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys hang out, but like all good things that must eventually come to an end, things go south. Steve's insecurities and impatience grow stronger, in other words.

Plopping onto his bed when he was in his room, Bucky relished in the softness of his bedsheets for a few long moments. Whether he was doing that so he could push off finding the man who had stolen his purity, he didn’t want to think about. 

Before he knew it, he had fallen asleep.

He woke up at the crack of dawn with the overwhelming urge to puke. He quickly rushed to the bathroom inside his room and collapsed in front of the toilet. With no better way to describe it, he threw up until he was sure he’d need to eat all three of his daily meals to gain back the nutrients he just lost.

He groaned loudly when he was finally finished.

“Urgh… I hate being pregnant.”

He got up, groggy, and proceeded to rinse his mouth out thoroughly. Once he was done he then brushed his teeth, taking extra time to brush his tongue. He sighed inwardly as he dried his mouth.

Sparing no more than a glance at the mirror, he nearly fainted when he saw his reflection. Contrary to his normal appearance, he had dark bags under his eyes, the stubble on his jawline and chin had started to grow into an actual beard, and his skin was eerily pale. If he wasn’t so keen on forgetting his past, he’d have compared himself to the way he used to look when he was under Hydra’s control. 

“There is no way I’m keeping this kid…” His fingertips grazed his pale skin, the words leaving him softly. “It’s completely fucking me up…”

After attempting to rinse his face beautiful for longer than he planned, he decided to give up and leave the room. What he needed was to be out in the sun. Maybe walk around for a bit, sightsee. That would surely give him back his somewhat youthful attitude and appearance. 

He promptly changed his clothes and tied his hair back. He shaved afterward. He glanced at the mirror one last time before leaving, satisfied slightly by the difference just changing his clothes and cleaning his face up did, then walked out of his room.

Being pregnant really wasn’t the thing for him.

Just as he was about to walk out the ginormous building he and the other Avengers called home, he heard his name being called by a familiar voice. His body stopped immediately and tensed.

“Bucky!”

The brunette suddenly felt a warm hand on his shoulder and the tenseness that was just in his body leave. He, however, had no time to ponder over the strangeness of feeling anxious because of his friend; Steve was already talking.

“Where you going, bud?”

He looked up at the blonde’s smiling face and swallowed the urge to retreat back to his room. For some unknown reason, everything in his body was screaming at him to avoid Steve, to pretend he didn’t exist--it confused Bucky to no extent. After all, Steve was his best friend, his brother, practically.

“Nowhere, really. Just decided I could use some fresh air..” Unknowingly, he trailed off and averted his eyes from Steve.

“Oh… Well, mind if I come along? It’s about time we hung out, right?” The blonde’s smile faltered only a few seconds from the other’s passiveness before it went right back to being as bright as the sun. 

“Sure. Exploring is always better with a friend. Come on.” 

“Great! Let me go change real quick, hold on a minute.” The blonde offered Bucky another smile before quickly jogging off.

Watching as his friend’s figure disappeared into an elevator, the ex-assassin leaned against the building’s door and crossed his arms. His leg tapped on the floor idly as he waited. After a couple of minutes passed, the two friends were reunited once again.

“So,” Steve began as he walked with Bucky and adjusted his hat, “Where to?”

The brunette thought silently for a few moments before shrugging.

“No clue. I just planned on crossing that bridge when I came to it.”

Steve laughed softly at his friend’s usual carelessness. 

“Sam showed me this cafe, we can visit it later if you want?”

Giving a curt nod in response, Bucky trailed behind the other man by a few steps. He was in deep thought as he pondered over possible suspects. Steve stifled a sigh when he looked back at Bucky, having not received an audible response.

Like that, the two men explored Manhattan. It was only after Bucky caught a whiff of cucumber from a restaurant that they passed did they actually interact with each other.

As soon as the scent of the vegetable was inhaled by the brunette, a wave of nausea and repulse flushed through him. He stopped walking and leaned over, hands clutched over his mouth. The sudden urge to vomit had hit him hard.

Sensing that his friend was no longer walking behind him, Steve glanced back.

“Buck?” Almost as soon as the name left his mouth, Bucky fell to his knees and retched. Steve quickly rushed to his side.

“Bucky! What’s wrong?!” He wrapped his right arm around the man’s waist in a flurry and lifted him up slowly. Worry quickly began to overtake him, and had it not been for the fact that it was Bucky, he would have given him a piggyback ride all the way to Bruce. 

In a tone as low as a whisper, Bucky groaned.

“That smell… We gotta get away from it.” 

Steve didn’t bother to ask about the smell he was talking about. He merely nodded and aided his friend in walking as far away from the scent as possible. 

Once the two were far enough away, Bucky finally managed to swallow back the vomit that so desperately wanted to get out. He shuddered softly, gave an appreciative nod to Steve for helping him walk, then backed away.

He cleared his throat.   
“That was… Disgusting.” A chuckle left him as he recalled the event that happened just moments prior. “Might’ve overreacted, huh, pal?” Grinning, he nudged Steve playfully. The blonde, however, only stared at him in confusion. 

Bucky’s joking quickly stopped.

“What was that back there, Buck?”

The brunette looked away hastily, nervous. He ran his hand through his hair, an action he’d always done that had become a habit whenever he was nervous, and shrugged. 

“That smell just rubbed me the wrong way… Nothin’ big, bud.”

“What smell, Bucky?” Steve slowly inched closer to his friend as he repeated the question, worry evident in his entire being. Bucky grew uncomfortable just from the man’s aura. And as if to demonstrate just how uncomfortable he was, he avoided eye contact.

The man’s behaviour certainly didn’t convince Steve that it was just nothing, so he prodded further.

“What, Bucky?”

Bucky, feeling like a cornered animal, pushed past Steve and began to walk away. He didn’t like how nosy the blonde was being. It was almost like he knew about the being inside of him and only feigned ignorance so that Bucky would tell him himself.

“It’s not that big of a deal, Steve.”

The blonde began to follow him immediately.

“If it’s not a big deal, then just tell me. What smell made you vomit, Buck? What smell even has that much power?!” 

Bucky almost chuckled at the last question.

No smell has that power. At least, no smell had that power over him. 

It was the thing inside of him that caused his body’s defenses to weaken. The sudden thought of finding the dad soon filled Bucky with happiness. The sooner they agreed on not keeping the kid, the sooner he could go back to normal. Well, as normal as a criminal supersoldier ex-assassin terrorist could get.

Until then, however, he’d have to lie to Steve and everyone else and makeup as many believable excuses as he could.

“I smelled blood, Steve… That’s all.”

The rugged man’s answer seemed to not only appease Steve but make him feel bad, as his eyes immediately softened. He sighed quietly and grabbed the other’s shirt so that he would stop walking.  
Bucky looked at him questioningly.

“I’m sorry, Buck… I didn’t know. You’re… You’re not remembering anything from then, are you?”

A scoff left Bucky. He crossed his arms and squinted at Steve, ticked off. “I’m not that weak, Steve. I know how to block a few memories out. So no, I’m not remembering anything.”

Steve was obviously shocked by his friend’s sudden mood change, it showed easily on his face. He stuttered a few apologies out and rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly.

“Didn’t mean to offend you… Sorry.”

Without the slightest meaning to or even knowledge of, Bucky’s eyes rolled. 

“Yeah… Anyway, I’m starvin’. Let’s go to that cafe you were talkin’ about.” 

The brunette spared no time on waiting for the other, he walked off without him. The sudden change in his attitude didn’t cross him.

Steve, however, noticed and worried. Following behind his friend, he watched the man’s back. Countless thoughts raced through his head. Did he pester the man too much? Make him feel like a mindless soldier again? Did he feel inferior because of Steve?

Each thought brought Steve’s mood down and before he knew it, his shoulders were slumped and his eyes focused on the ground. 

To think that all this time, he was hurting Bucky instead of helping him. The thought made the man’s heart ache.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OK, OK, so thanks to a really helpful commenter (I forgot your username, I'm so sorry--), I've got a schedule! ;DD  
> Updates will now be every 2-3 days, it just depends on how excited I am XD So no more updates for the rest of this week ;-; 
> 
> Hope you guys liked this chapter, cause things won't be as simple for the baby boys in the near future >;333
> 
> amispoilingitohgoshimsorry
> 
> Also, one more thing: I've got a Wattpad and I post this story on there too! My username is coldtouch_warmheart. You don't gotta follow it, but sometimes I post chapters there before I do on here. Alright, bye <3


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve gives up on being Bucky's babysitter, and the brunette doesn't like it.

He was shaken out of his depressed stupor when Bucky’s hand rested on his shoulder.

“You lead the way.” 

Steve quickly nodded, choosing not to speak just in case something he said hurt the man, and began to walk ahead of his friend. 

Whatever it was that Steve had done to annoy Bucky, he was damn sure he wouldn’t ever do again. If he had to keep his mouth shut until the man spoke to him, he’d do it, even if he hated it. The night at Tony’s party had proven to Steve that he felt strongly for his friend; anything the man wanted was what Steve would give.

Before long, they arrived at the cafe Steve had spoken about. 

Both men entered the building and sat down at a table for two in the corner of the building. Two small menus were laid on the center of the table.

Grabbing one, Bucky’s eyes scanned the contents of the small foldable. A few moments passed before he set the menu down and sighed softly. Steve looked up at him, eyes questioning the sound.  
He only grunted in response.

“Place not what you thought it’d be?” A kind, joking smile made its way onto the blonde’s lips as he stared at the brunette. Bucky rolled his eyes playfully.

“Nah, it just...feels crazy to be able to have a say in somethin’, ya know? Just not all that used to it yet…” He trailed off softly, eyes turning away from his friend.

Steve immediately felt a wave of guilt and sympathy rush through him. It pained him to know that Bucky was still experiencing nostalgia and flashbacks of his days with HYDRA.

Slowly and a bit unsurely, he reached out to the brunette and rested his hand on his shoulder. Bucky’s eyes glanced at him, a curious but confused look in them. He offered him a smile.

“You’re always gonna have a choice with me, bud. I’m never gonna force you to do anything you don’t wanna do. You’re my friend; friends don’t do that.” 

Had the two not been in a public place, Bucky could have sworn he’d cry. Steve’s words, they meant so much more than he knew. After decades upon decades of not being in control, of having to follow someone else’s rules and commands, it was a relief to hear that he could decide for himself. 

The smirk he wore all too often began to grow on his lips.

“Since when did you become such a sap?” He joked fondly, placing his hand on top of Steve’s.

The blonde chuckled softly and looked away for a few short moments before looking back. Had the hat on his head not camouflaged his face with a shadow, Bucky might have been able to see the pink blush that had made its way onto Steve’s face.

“I’ve been this way for a while now, Buck. You’re just barely paying any attention to it.”

Before Bucky had any time to respond, the waiter appeared, holding a small notebook in his hands. 

“Are you guys done looking, or should I come back in a few?” He asked politely, a smile on his face. He briefly scanned the situation Steve and Bucky seemed to be in, having noted Steve’s hand on Bucky’s shoulder, before broadening his smile.

“I’m sorry, I hope I’m not interrupting.”

Bucky tore his hand away from Steve’s almost immediately, Steve following suit and taking his hand away from his shoulder.

“No, it’s fine.” The brunette answered calmly and with a smile. “I’ll just have some coffee if that’s ok.” 

Nodding, the waiter began to write the beverage down. “Caf or decaf?” 

“Er…” Bucky shot Steve a confused look. The blonde only shrugged, not paying any attention to him. His shoulders were slumped once more.

With a huff of frustration from his friend’s lack of help, Bucky looked back at the waiter. “Just black, I guess? If that’s available.”

The waiter laughed softly and nodded. “Of course.” After he finished writing down what Bucky wanted, he turned to Steve. “And you, sir?”

Steve glanced down at his menu, looked it over speedily, then promptly stated what he wanted.

“Alrighty, a black coffee for you and the American Classic for you. Anything else I can get you two?” He looked between the two men as he spoke. Earning a shake of the head from both, he nodded and smiled. “Well, my name is Mark. I’ll be your waiter for today. If you guys need anything, just call me over.”

The two nodded before Mark left.

Steve immediately went back to paying no mind to Bucky, much to Bucky’s annoyance.

“So… Nice guy, huh?” 

“Yeah, I guess. He’s always like that.” Deflecting the question and his friend’s obvious attempt at small talk, Steve focused on his phone, texting Sam. The brunette’s eyebrows furrowed in annoyance. 

The abrupt change in the blonde’s behavior quickly started to confuse and irk him to no end.

He tapped his metal hand’s fingers on the table and watched the other. “You know, you’re really starting to remind me of all these people. Always on their phone, ignoring their friends.” 

“Uh huh, sure, Buck. Food should get here soon, don’t worry.” 

“Steve, look at me.”

“Hold on a sec’, pal. I’m talkin’ with Sam.”

Doing just that, Bucky waited--albeit impatiently--for his friend to finish up his conversation with the other Avenger. A long while passed with no sign of Steve setting his phone down and paying Bucky the attention he demanded and so rightfully deserved. 

The sudden sound of fists being slammed on the table immediately caused Steve to look up, eyes wide. The brunette could take no more of the agonizing silence.

“Unless the world’s about to end and he’s got some lead on the assholes behind it, put your damn phone down and talk to me.” An agitated huff left the brunette after he spoke the words, his hands clenched. 

Steve stared at his friend for a few moments, silent, before sighing softly and looking away, his head shaking slightly. He directed his gaze back to Bucky once he felt like he was calm enough to speak.

“Let’s not make a scene here, Bucky. We’re in public. Remember that.” He made sure to speak softly and kindly. He knew all too well what would happen if you appeared hostile to an already angry being--he wasn’t going to upset his friend any more than he already had, or at least try to.

A furious glint immediately glossed over the rugged man’s eyes. His mouth slowly but surely curved into a deep frown at the blonde’s irritating tactics of calming him. It was almost as if he was treating him like he was a kid about to throw a temper tantrum; trying to shut him up and give him what he wanted before he started to scream and cry. 

The fact that Steve was leisurely inching his hand to his shoulder only ignited his fire more.

“Oh, I’m rememberin’ somethin’, Stevie,” He spoke as he yanked his shoulder out of the blonde’s reach. “Somethin’s brewin’ in my damn head and it ain’t makin’ me too happy.”


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things not meant are said, punches are thrown, and feelings are crushed.

By then, the other occupants of the small cafe had begun to listen in on their conversation, some asking the waiters for the manager and others merely watching to see if there’d be a fight.

“What’s wrong with you? Why are you acting like this?” Bucky’s voice raised gradually. “Why are you ignorin’ me?”

Steve, sensing that things would only escalate from that point on, stood from his seat. He crossed his arms and looked down at his friend with a strong, warning glare on his face. “You’re acting like a child. Stop it.”

The words caused the other man to also stand tall. “Oh, that’s rich comin’ from you, Stevie. The guy who never backed from a fight, even when he would lose it before it started!”

Shock covered the blonde’s face before it quickly washed away, anger replacing it. Before he could respond, however, most likely with a hard shove, the manager of the establishment interrupted them.

“I’m sorry, gentlemen, but I’m going to have to ask you to leave. You’re interrupting everyone’s meals with your rowdy behavior.” 

Both men’s gazes immediately shot to the worker. He instantly cowered under their intense stares, Bucky glaring and Steve frowning immensely.

“We’re sorry for the scene. We’ll be leaving now.” 

Sparing no time for Bucky to respond or protest, Steve began to leave the cafe after throwing down twenty dollars. The brunette huffed and after sending a death glare the worker’s way, followed after his friend.

Steve immediately turned to the other once they were out of the cafe.

“What was that back there, Bucky?!” He didn’t bother in hiding the annoyance in his voice, tone wavering between threatening and frustrated. 

Bucky rolled his eyes and pressed his chest against the other’s, not backing down. “That wasn’t my fault! It was yours!”

“Mine?!”

“Yes, yours!” 

“How the hell is that?!”

With a light but firm shove, Bucky made it clear to Steve that he wasn’t going to take the blame. “You’re the one who started ignoring me! You tagged along and wanted us to go to the cafe, yet you ignored me! That’s not what people do, Steve!”

A scoff pushed past Steve’s lips as he listened to the brunette’s explanation. He towered over the man and pursed his lips.

“Me? I’m the one who’s ignoring you?” When he received a nod, he shook his head angrily. “You’ve been ignoring me for weeks! Every single time I try to talk to you, you make up some bullshit excuse to avoid me! If I so much as even mention Tony’s party, you shut down and hide in your room! We used to be best friends, Bucky, what the hell happened?! Is what happened at the party really enough to make you hate me?!”

The brunette stared at Steve in confusion. He didn’t understand what he meant by that and only found himself growing more frustrated because of it.

“You keep bringin’ up that damn party! Why do you think I keep avoiding you?! Because all you wanna talk about is that night! It wasn’t even important, it certainly shouldn’t have been for you!” 

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?!”

“It means,” Bucky yelled out loudly, causing passersby to look at them wearily as they walked by. “That nothing important happened back there! I have way more important things to be worrying about, Steve! There’s something goin’ on with me that you couldn’t even begin to understand! If you stopped worrying about that damn night, maybe you could! But you’re so caught up with your desires that you don’t have enough space in your mind to think about mine!” 

The rushed, erratic words left an echoing silence between the men. Steve stared at Bucky with an incomprehensible look in his eyes. 

He took a deep breath, clearly trying to find the right words to respond with, before looking away and shaking his head.

“You don’t even care, do you?” The question was spoken softly, pain, anger, sadness, and many other emotions clear in it. Bucky rolled his eyes. 

“I should be asking you that.”

A rough punch was thrown in response. The harsh impact stunned Bucky, forcing him to stumble back and fall to his knees. He immediately gripped his nose. 

“What the fuck?!” He growled angrily, eyes shooting up to Steve’s hooded ones.

He quickly got back up to his feet and put his fists out in front of him, assuming the fighting stance he had taken many times before. 

“I have given everything for you.” The blonde spoke quietly. His usually bright blue eyes were darker with grief and boiling anger. It took all he had in him not to throw another punch and quite possibly ruin their friendship for good. “I have tried my hardest to get you to feel comfortable in your own skin, to try and help you come to terms with your new identity.”

Bucky leisurely lost his stance as he listened to the man’s grief-stricken speech.

“I was willing to go rogue for you!” Steve looked up from the ground as he yelled the words. “I didn’t care if it meant going against the government! I didn’t care if choosing you meant I had to lose everything else! That’s how much you meant to me, Bucky! That night--that mistake--I was so fucking happy you accepted my feelings! I thought it finally meant we could be together again! I thought it meant you were finally comfortable enough with me to do such a thing! I thought what we did meant something to you…” The crack in the man’s voice rang throughout Bucky’s ears repeatedly.   
“But… But I guess I was thinking too highly of myself.” A dry chuckle left Steve. Tears began to stream down his face but he continued on like he didn’t even know they were there. “I guess I was thinking too highly of you.” 

He stared at the man in front of him silently for a few long moments, moments that seemed to last forever, before scoffing.

“I don’t even know why I tried so hard… You’re still the same man you were when we were kids. You’re still nothing but a heartbreaker.”

He walked away as soon as the last word left his mouth. Bucky watched his back as he left, an action that Steve had watched him do many times before. The words Steve had spoken echoed in the brunette’s head. Nothing else occupied the space, only the numb, sincere words.

He stood there for hours.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There might be grammatical errors, I didn't check for any, so please ignore them for a bit ;"))  
> I'll fix them as soon as I get on a computer.
> 
> Hope you liked the chapter!


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky realizes he fucked up royally.

As soon as Steve entered his room, he broke down. Empty sobs left him trembling and shaking, body heaving. It hurt to know that the man he fought tooth and nail for, had stayed up countless nights crying over, picked repeatedly over all the beautiful dames that were willing to throw themselves at him with the snap of a finger, had turned out to be nothing more than a deceiving facade.

He wasted years of his life trying to get the man to notice him, to accept and embrace him.

He collapsed onto his bed and curled up.

How he wished he had just stayed frozen in that deep, deep ocean.

Bucky finally moved from his spot when night had come. He had become almost catatonic as his brain worked desperately to process everything that had just happened hours prior.

Things finally made sense. Everything was finally pieced together, although it happened in quite possibly the most awful way ever.

Steve had been trying to tell him for weeks, but he ignored him. Pushed him away. Rejected him. Probably filled the man's head with insecurities he'd never want to have himself. He was so, so stupid.

Bucky didn't get it on with some stranger. He wasn't dragged away by some creep and taken. He didn't have his pride stolen. He had it given to him by no other than his best friend. God, he wished he could remember it.

He watched his feet as they shuffled slowly to his room. His face was numb from the night's cold air but he did nothing to warm it up. I don't deserve warmth. I lost the only guy who could provide it.

He climbed into his bed when he entered his room. He immediately sunk into the soft mattress. He stared up at the ceiling, mind wandering.

How could he have possibly forgotten something like that? How could he have possibly accused his best fucking friend of not caring? Steve Rogers? Not caring about him or his well being? Bucky was so stupid. He was so fucking stupid.

A tear slowly slipped out of his eye but he blinked it away quickly. Steve was right. He hadn't changed. He was still the emotionless man he had once been, so he didn't deserve the right to cry.

He stayed up that night.

When he woke up in the morning, he was immediately rushed with the strong urge to vomit. He shot up from his bed and ran to the bathroom. Despite his quick footsteps and actions, he felt heavy, slow.

He released the contents of his stomach into the toilet then flushed it. Droning on, he rinsed his mouth out then proceeded to get undressed. He hopped into the shower afterward.

The scorching heat of the water did nothing to sooth his erratic thoughts or aching bones. The events from the night before, however, numbed him. The shocking turn of events was just too much for the scarred man.

He got out once his skin began to wrinkle and didn't bother with getting himself a towel before he walked out of the bathroom. Water dripped off of his toned body and trailed down his curves, accentuating his muscular figure. As he strode to his walk-in closet, he glanced at himself in his full body mirror.

Stopping in front of the reflective surface, he let his eyes wander down his body. As soon as his stone blue orbs landed on his stomach, he felt a wave of nausea and uncertainty roll through him. The baby.

He had completely forgotten about it.

The man he had been trying to find turned out to be no other than his best friend--or, ex-best friend. The guy who got him pregnant was Steve fucking Rogers. Just how worse could his luck get?

Not only did he lose his lifelong companion, but he also lost the father of their child. How could he possibly do all this without Steve?

He stared at his belly silently, noting how there was a small bump starting to form on his abdomen. Tears began to swell in his eyes and he watched as his emotionless face quickly turned into a mess. Every emotion he was feeling right at that moment was visible on his exhausted features; from his grief over the fact that he lost the most important person in his life, to the stress of finding out that the same person was the father of the thing in his belly, to the realization that he hadn't changed at all and had actually gotten worse.

He couldn't do this alone.

He fell to his knees when they grew to be as heavy as his heart and curled up. Shakily, he brought his knees to his chest and gripped his legs tightly. His body quivered as he sobbed.

"Why didn't I just tell you...?" The muttered question escaped past his lips and echoed in the empty room.

Regret was the prominent emotion in the broken man. He stayed curled up in front of the mirror for a long while, questions of what he would do now. It wasn't like he could tell Steve, not after everything he'd done to the man. But it wasn't like he could just get an abortion without consulting Steve either. It took two to make a child, the blonde had just as much right to decide what happened to it as he did.

A heavy sigh left Bucky after a while. He wished Natasha was there.

The woman was good at improvising, she could have easily mended the situation.

He got up shakily, his feet unstable from being pinned to his chest for so long, and entered his closet. He lazily grabbed an outfit that didn't look too bothersome and threw it on.

He walked back to the bathroom so that he could brush his hair and teeth. He spared not a single glance at the mirror, choosing instead to leave the room as soon as he finished with his activities.

Sitting back on his bed, he decided to try and devise a plan on not only getting Steve back but also telling him about their...situation.

"Alright, I gotta..." He trailed off quietly when the realization that he had no idea where he should start trying to mend his relationship with the blonde struck him. He sighed. "It was all a misunderstanding... That's what it was, so that's what I gotta tell him."

He quickly grabbed an empty notebook from his nightstand and opened it up. He grabbed a pen from the open drawer and jotted down what he had just spoken. Him knowing himself, with his bad memory and overwhelming stress levels, he'd forget his plan as soon as he spoke with the man. Better to document it while it was still fresh.

"Apologize... Say you're stupid and you'll never do anything to hurt him ever again, and then... Then..." HIs hand stopped writing down the spoken steps. He inhaled a deep breath. "Find some fuckin' way to let him know you're pregnant with his child."

Saying the words out loud sounded much stranger than they did when he spoke them in his head. He didn't even want to think about how or why he and Steve had gotten into such a situation. He desired only to know what the other man wanted to do with the alien inside him and what would become of them.

Would Steve still want to be associated with him? Or would he accuse him of lying and avoid him for the rest of his life? Or, quite possibly even worse, would he reject him? Would he only want to see the baby and not the man who gave birth to it?

WIth each and every thought imagined, Bucky found himself dreading having to tell Steve. He knew that he was being irrational, that he was imagining things that the blonde wouldn't even dream of doing, but the thoughts wouldn't stop and he couldn't make them. Soon enough, the brunette was curled into a ball, hands clutching onto the notebook like his life depended on it, and was on the borderline of having a panic attack.

He had no idea what he would do if Steve no longer wanted to be associated with him. At that point, Steve was the only thing that made Bucky want to stay in that world. Yes, his actions had not been suggesting that, but Bucky knew deep down that was the case.

His breathing quickly became labored, heart beating a thousand miles an hour. He squeezed his eyes shut when his vision became blurry.

For what seemed like hours, he tried calming his breathing and convincing his body and brain to relax. He had been on the verge of going catatonic multiple times.

He finally caught a break hours later.

Slowly, he uncurled himself and wiped away the few tears that had managed to squeeze past his tightly shut eyelids. He took a couple of long deep breaths before he resumed writing down the last step.

"Do whatever it takes to win his trust back."


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky asks Nat for help.

To say that Steve had a broken heart would have been an understatement. He had a crushed soul, a betrayed mind--a bad fucking day. He lost one of the most important people to him because he had high expectations and was too clingy.

He shouldn't have expected so much, especially when it came to someone like Bucky. Not that Bucky was a terrible person, Steve still thought strongly against that, but he was a heartbreaker. He had always been one and would always be one, even if he had changed into a completely different person.

Sam pat Steve's back gently, the action comforting in a way that only Steve could tell was meant to be that way. The blonde sighed softly and glanced up at the other man.

He sniffled quietly as he rubbed his swollen eyes.

"God, I'm so sorry, Sam. I shouldn't have forced all my baggage onto you." He quickly wiped away a tear that started to build up in his eye before continuing. "I'm gonna lose you too if I keep being a crybaby. I-I'll stop."

He hurriedly began to straighten himself up, doing his best to look presentable, before he was stopped by Sam.

The man looked at him, sympathy and a bit of a scolding look in his eye. "You're not gonna lose me by expressing your feelings, Steve. What do you peg me for? An asshole?"

Steve chuckled lightly at the question and shook his head swiftly. "Of course not... I just.."

"You just?"

"I just don't want to overwhelm you. I don't wanna scare you away with all my insecurities and neediness. I.. I know some people don't like that." The man looked away as he spoke, his words coming out in a flurry. Sam stared at him, shocked by his explanation.

"Well, I'm not like those people. I'm your friend, Steve. And last time I checked, people who were really friends with someone didn't get annoyed when their friends came to them in their time of need." The shorter man shook his head, exhaling softly. "Geez', Cap', did Bucky make you feel like your feelings didn't matter? Did he make you afraid to talk about them?"

When he didn't receive a response, he raged on.

"Shit, maybe this is a good thing! You shouldn't have people like that in your life!" The man's eyebrows had begun to furrow, face deepening into an angry frown.

Steve quickly place a hand on his shoulder to calm him.

"No, no he didn't...! He just... All this time, he's been avoiding me and it's just made me wonder if he's acting like that was because I threw all my feelings on him at the party. I just... I practically described how every waking minute, from the second I woke up and I was still 16 in Brooklyn, to now, he was on my mind. I didn't even give him a second to breathe. You know, it just made me wonder if that's why he was avoiding me... Maybe I had overwhelmed him."

The other glanced over at him, eyebrows quirked. "But?"

"But..." Steve sighed. "I guess that wasn't the case. He just didn't think what happened that night was important. I was just another dame he could have a fun night out with."

The blonde was quickly pulled into a tight hug. He instantly returned the embrace and sighed into it, the sound heavy and heartbroken.

"Maybe we should tell Tony..." Sam started quietly after a few moments passed. Steve immediately pulled away, eyes wide at the suggestion.

"No! We can't do that!"

"Why not, Steve? That asshole hurt you! You don't gotta keep protecting him!"

"I-I know, but... But he has nowhere else to go! If Tony were to kick him out, he'd just go back to being a squatter...! I... I can't bear the thought of that." The larger man looked away pathetically, shoulders drooped. "Besides, Tony and I still aren't on great terms. He's still upset that I was willing to fight him for Bucky."

Sam groaned in annoyance.

"Don't you see how bad Bucky really is, Steve? I'm almost positive Tony would jump at the idea of kicking that asshole out."

The blonde didn't answer and only stared at the ground. The other man watched him, waiting for a response, before sighing when he realized he wouldn't get one. "You're too nice, Steve... That's gonna be your downfall."

Steve glanced over at him and smiled slightly. "I know it is."

After the plan was formulated and had some thought given to it, an apology letter even written out, Bucky got ready to go to Steve's room.

He took in a few deep breaths to steady his nerves before exiting his room. Dreadfully, he made the short journey to the blonde's room. He felt around for the plan and letter in his pocket a few times as he walked.

When he finally arrived at the man's room, he knocked. A few moments passed before he knocked again.

"..."

He knocked thrice, and when he could hear nothing from the inside of the room, he concluded Steve wasn't home. He sighed heavily but couldn't help the relief that swarmed his insides.

He contemplated walking back to his room but decided against it when the image of Natasha glaring at him suddenly appeared in his head.

"Nat..." He sighed quietly, the sound verging on a groan. "What would you do? What do I do? I'm so stupid..."

He decided to try and give the redhead a call. He knew the possibility of her actually answering was far from likely, but at that point, he had nothing else he could do. He cursed his brain and it's lack of creativity or common sense before he dialed her number.

Pressing the small phone against his ear, Bucky waited for her to answer.

One moment passed, then another, then a few more, and when it finally got to the second before it switched over to voicemail, the line connected.

The brunette's eyes widened.

"Nat...?"

"Bucky, hey. What's going on?"

The man took note of the rushed edge in her voice.

"I can tell you're busy, so I'll do my best to make this fast. Listen, Nat, I fucked up. I... I found out who the guy is."

"What? Really?"

"Yes, really. Oh God, you won't believe who it is..."

"Steve?"

"Yea--What?" The disbelief heard easily in Bucky's tone made Natasha laugh softly.

"You think I wasn't doing my own research? Steve was acting pretty weird, James. It was kinda obvious. Anyway, go on. What'd you do?"

"What didn't I do?" The man groaned quietly and rubbed his tired eyes. He leaned against Steve's bedroom door. "I fucking yelled at him and accused him of ignoring me. I told him what happened at Tony's party didn't mean anything, I told him he didn't care about me, I-I fucking told him he was selfish! Steve! Selfish!"

Silence ensued for a short while after Bucky exclaimed what he had done. A sharp intake of breath was heard suddenly.

"When did all this happen?"

"Just yesterday." The man sighed.

"Alright, it shouldn't be too bad... Have you seen him since?"

"No, not at all. I've just been in my room."

"Alright, I want you to get your ass up and march over to his room. Right now."

"Already here."

"And? Is he there?"

"Nope..."

Another compilation of silent minutes passed, Natasha obviously thinking. "He's probably at Sam's. Considering Steve and Tony haven't really talked much and Steve wouldn't want to burden Clint by asking to stay with him, he's most likely with Sam. Go over there right now."  
"What do I do when I'm there? I have an apology letter written out but I don't know if it's good... I kinda suck at writing." An embarrassed blush took over the brunette's face. If he was self-conscious of anything, his intelligence and arm were the top contenders.

"Use that. Trying is better than just going there empty-handed and with some sorry-ass excuse. Steve is a sentimental person, he'll appreciate you putting in the extra effort."

Nodding, Bucky began to walk to the closest elevator.

"What do I do when I've apologized? How do I bring up the pregnancy?"

"Now that is the hard part." Natasha chuckled quietly. "Honestly, I'm not too sure. The best advice I can give is to just rip it off like a band-aid. Why delay the inevitable? Besides, I think Steve would like it if you were honest with him from now on. Not telling him that you're pregnant, and with his child at that, would probably bring you right back to square one."

As he walked out the elevator and to the exit, Bucky kept his head down.

"That makes sense... I'm just kinda nervous. How will he react...?" Once the worrisome question left his mouth, Bucky bumped into someone. He looked up, agitation clear on his face, before his eyes widened.

"He had sex with you, James. He obviously likes you, so he'll be excited. Du--"

Bucky quickly ended the call when he saw just who it was in front of him. He bit his lip nervously and reached for the letter in his pocket.

"I-I... Steve..."


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky explains everything and apologizes. Steve sulks but listens.

Deciding to head home, Steve said his goodbyes to Sam a bit reluctantly and made his way back to the Avengers tower. He lagged on getting to his destination absentmindedly.

When he finally did arrive, he inhaled a long breath. "Please don't run into him, please don't run into him..." He repeated the words as if they were a mantra and stepped into the building.

Immediately, he was bumped into. Just his luck.

He jumped slightly before taking a step back. Glancing at the person that had walked into him, he could practically feel his heart racing out of his chest. A low groan left him.

"I-I... Steve..."

Hearing his name spoken softly by the familiar brunette caused a blush to quickly land itself on Steve. He gulped nervously then cleared his throat, looking away.

"Bucky."

Silence filled with unwavering tension and awkwardness quickly consumed the space between the two men. Bucky chewed his bottom lip nervously, not sure how to start what he was going to say.

"I... Should go to my room now." Steve said after the silence became too much for him. The brunette hastily began to follow the blonde when he started walking away.

"I need to tell you something, can I come with?"

"Now..." The other man sighed quietly as he approached the elevator. "Now isn't a good time, Buck." He kept his eyes glued to the elevator door, waiting impatiently for them to open.

The ex-soldier grabbed his arm and made him look at him. His stare was firm and a bit hesitant. "There isn't a better time than right now, Steve. I promise...," He exhaled lowly. "I won't bother you again afterward."

There was an obvious glint of reluctance that showed in Steve's eyes, but he made no effort to reject Bucky again. He didn't respond and only entered the elevator when it opened, the other following him in.

In silence, the men traveled upwards to the floor Steve's room was located. Neither bothered to exchange words or glances, one too nervous to and the other too awkward.

Steve speedily walked to his room when they got to the right floor. He threw his door open and instantly felt relaxed when the familiar smell of paper and paint filled his nostrils. He glanced back at Bucky, the man having been standing a few feet away from him, an obvious attempt at giving Steve the space he so desperately wanted. He stifled a sigh and nodded his head towards his room, urging him in.

Walking over to his bedroom, he began to undress. He took his jacket off his lean torso then did the same with his long-sleeved shirt. Slipping an old t-shirt on after digging around his bedside drawer for a split second, he felt his muscles loosen up.

Better get comfy. This'll probably be good. He exhaled a heavy breath as he thought the sarcastic words. Leave it up to Bucky to not let you mope.

After changing his jeans to a pair of loose pajama pants, he walked back out to Bucky who was waiting anxiously on the couch. He took in a deep breath to steady himself before he sat beside the man.

"What did you want to say?" He asked blankly, tone apathetic so that he didn't seem vulnerable.

He watched as Bucky tensed before digging through his jeans and ripping out a crumpled paper. He blushed darkly, eyes glued to the paper. Steve watched his actions, confused.

"I... I'm not too good with words, so I wrote this beforehand." Bucky cleared his throat, nervous, then momentarily glanced at the other. The look in his eyes asked if the blonde had understood what he meant. Steve only nodded before motioning for him to get on with it.

"Steve, I'm... I'm so fuckin' sorry." The brunette ripped his eyes away from the paper as he spoke the words. He then looked back down at the paper just as quickly as he looked up from it. "I never would have said what I said if I knew what I do now. Everything I told you yesterday, I regret it all. I never in a million years would have ever wished for you to think I didn't care about you. Stevie, you're all I've ever had. You're the only thing that's continuously been there for me. When--when I was under HYDRA's control, you were there, always. You were that little voice in the back of my head, tellin' me I'd get out of that hellhole soon enough; that I just had to keep fighting for a little more. Your voice was what got me by all those years--if it wasn't for you, I would have lost myself completely. I wouldn't even be here right now." The man's voice cracked as he spoke the last sentence, but he ignored it and continued to read from the paper in his hands.

"Never have I ever not cared about you. You're the only reason I'm still here! If... If I lost you, I'd be losing myself. I'd be losin' the only thing that ever cared for me, that ever treated me like an equal and not a tool. Even if my actions said otherwise, you were still there. The fact that I even accused you of being selfish is complete bullshit, and I hope I get the worst fuckin' nightmare ever tonight, because that is so far from the truth it makes me want to vomit. You're the most selfless man I've ever met, and you've always been like that. Always fightin'..." He chuckled lightly, a tear dripping down the curve of his lips. It landed on the tightly clenched paper and muddied up his writing. "Always... Always doing what you thought was right. Even if it hurt you."

Bucky's shoulders began to shake as he cried. Everything had begun to get to him; reality had finally hit him. Yes, he realized he had most likely lost Steve, but he didn't realize it was going to hurt so bad.

Soon enough, the writing on the paper became unintelligible.

"Sh-shit...!" The brunette cursed under his breath. He frantically tried to dry it against his jeans but stopped when the haste action only further wrinkled it up.

Steve watched him quietly, eyes wide.

"I... I guess that's over with." Bucky muttered as he looked up at Steve. "I just ruined the only thing that was giving me a chance at winning you back. I'm such a fuck up." He sniffled and wiped away the few tears that were still clinging to his eyes.

"Bucky, I..." The blonde began to speak but was quickly stopped by the brunette.

"I know, you want me to leave...! But, but just give me a few more minutes. I'll stop cryin', I promise." The words were hastily rushed out of the ex-assassin's mouth, clearly showing how anxious he was to say what he wanted to stay. Steve decided to just nod and let the man speak.

The disheveled ex-assassin took a few moments to calm himself and silence the frantic thoughts in his head.

"What I'm going to tell you right now... It's going to seem unbelievable. I'm not asking you to humor me, just to listen. I promise I'm not fucking with you."

He stared at Steve until he received a confused nod then continued.

"Steve, I... That night, at the party--Tony's party. We...had sex, right?"

The blonde nodded, even more bewildered. Why was he saying it like it was an event he had no idea about? "Yeah...? You don't remember?"

"I'll get to that part in a minute, just--just listen. Please."

"Alright... Alright."

Bucky continued after a few silent moments passed. "After the party, I started gettin' real sick. I was throwing up constantly, getting nauseous over the simplest fucking smells. It was like my body was getting experimented on again and any small little thing could send me runnin' to the bathroom. After the third week of it, I decided I'd ask Nat for help. She suggested a few things, thought I might've caught the flu or somethin', before telling me to take a pregnancy test."

Steve's eyes widened slightly but he remained silent, much to Bucky's relief and paranoia.

"I thought she was joking, so I went along with it and did what she said to." Bucky paused for a brief amount of time, trying to word what he was going to say. "Steve, the... There's no better way to say this. The pregnancy test; it came out as positive... You're the father."


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things finally get sorted out, and the outcome is like a dream come true for Steve.

Steve stared at Bucky incredulously, his eyes the size of saucers. He took a long while to process what he had just been told. Bucky, a man, had gotten pregnant. And he was the father. What kind of sick joke was that?

Was it even a sick joke, though? He wasn't quite sure if he thought Bucky was lying. However, he was even more unsure of how he was supposed to feel. Happy? Shocked--well, he certainly had that one in the bag. Disgusted? Was he supposed to be in disbelief? Was he supposed to _question_ Bucky?

Half of him screamed yes, while the other half told him no. Bucky wasn't a liar. Yes, he may have kept things out of the light, but lying? About something that big? There'd be no point to it.

With each passing moment, Bucky squirmed in his seat. He didn't like silence, not one bit. Silence meant something big was going to come, and nine times out of ten, it wasn't anything good.

He stared at Steve's shocked face intently. The man no longer seemed to be receptive to his surroundings.

"Steve...?" He waved his hand in front of the other's face. "Stevie." He shook Steve gently then stopped when his efforts proved to be fruitless; the other was in shock. He bit his lip hard and sighed.

After a few minutes passed, the brunette decided he couldn't take it anymore and pressed his metal hand to the blonde's cheek. He cupped Steve's face gently.

"Stevie, please talk to me." The yearning evident in Bucky's voice mixed with the coldness of his prosthetic slowly but surely started bringing Steve back.

He blinked once then twice. He instantly took note of the scene in front of him once his eyes became adjusted: Bucky's hand caressing his cheek, the anxiousness in his eyes, the soothing chill against his skin, and the close proximity in which they were. He leaned into Bucky's touch and closed his eyes for a few moments.

Bucky watched him, confused until he finally looked at him. He sighed.

"I don't know what to say, Bucky. What do you _want_ me to say? It's...it's a little hard to believe."

Immediately, the brunette looked down. His eyebrows furrowed deeply. "I know. I know it's hard to believe. But it's the truth. I have the pregnancy test to prove it." He ripped his hand away from Steve's cheek and began searching through his pockets.

Panic set in instantaneously when he didn't find the stick. He quickly shot up from the couch so he had better leverage and pulled the inside cloth of his pants out. "Fuck, fuck, where did I put it...?!" He muttered frantically to himself.

As each moment passed with the pee stick not being in his hand, Bucky could feel his anxiety grow stronger. Without the test as proof, Steve wouldn't believe him. And if Steve didn't believe him, then he'd get mad instead and ban Bucky from ever even looking at him again. And if that happened, then...then Bucky would no longer have a place in this world.

His anxiety beginning to worsen, the brunette started to close in on himself. The paralyzing thoughts and fears that packed his head to the brim with insecurities crippled Bucky and resulted in him whispering frantic apologies and pleads.

"Please believe me, please believe me... I'm so sorry, Stevie, please believe me..." He continued to mutter the rushed words.

Steve stared at the man in front of him in disbelief, mouth agape slightly and his eyes wide. He'd never seen his friend in such a state before, and it terrified him to know that he was the cause of it. He hurriedly shot to his feet and pulled Bucky into a tight hug.

"I believe you, Buck, I do. I promise." He muttered the words softly as he rubbed the other's back in calm, circling motions. The man leaned into his embrace and hugged back just as tightly, if not stronger. His body quivered as he tried calming himself.

He buried his nose in Steve's neck and, unashamedly, inhaled his scent. He wasn't embarrassed to admit that the blonde's scent had always been a calming thing to him. That, and his voice. He sighed silently as he embraced Steve.

Steve continued rubbing Bucky's back calmly, mimicking the way Sam would do for him. He kept the man pressed firmly against him and repeated the reassurance.

"But...there's no proof." The brunette looked up at him with teary eyes, a look that immediately struck Steve's heartstrings. He smiled gently at him.

"Do you really think I need proof, Bucky? I was willing to fight Tony and anyone else who got in my way, including the government, without even being sure if you were still you. I believe you, and more importantly, I trust that you wouldn't lie to me about something like this."

He pulled away slowly so he could see the man better.

"You... You trust me still...?" Bucky questioned softly, shocked. He stared at Steve unsurely.

Steve chuckled lightly at his expression and nodded. "You're my friend. Of course I do, Buck. I'd go so far as to say I even trust you with my life. You don't say that to strangers, do you?" He nudged the brunette's shoulders playfully before sitting back down. He ignored Bucky's shocked expression and stretched.

It took the ex-soldier a few long moments to regain himself and his composure. To hear Steve say such heartfelt things without even blinking had caused a ripple to spread across the strong insecurities he had been feeling just moments prior--he was unsure if he was in a dream or if Steve was just saying the words out of obligation.

"After everything I did? You still trust me, Steve? You're... You're not mad?" He asked hesitantly.

Steve yawned loudly before glancing over at him. He rubbed his eyes and nodded. "I'm not one to hold onto the past, ironically. You've always been there for me, always dealt with me even when I was being reckless and stupid. The least I could do is be there for you too. Besides," He looked away as a fond smile claimed his lips. "I could never stay mad at you. You might get under my skin, but you're still the guy I've loved all these years."

Bucky bit his lip gently and gripped the bottom of his shirt, blood rushing to his face immediately. He wanted to say something but no words were forming. He sighed when Steve turned his attention to the TV in front of him. Taking a seat next to him, he tried getting comfortable.

A long while passed before he was finally able to articulate what he wanted to say into something understandable.

"Steve, do you..." He began quietly, trailing off. The blonde looked over at him. "Do you like me? Is that why we had sex?"

Very obviously stunted at the man's forwardness, Steve's mouth was left gaping for a few moments. He blushed furiously when he realized and shut it quickly. He cleared his throat and ran his hand through his hair. "I, uh..." He exhaled lowly. "Yes, I do. Do you not remember my confession?"

Bucky shook his head, earning a heavy sigh from the other.

"I'm not even gonna ask how or why you don't." He looked away again. A few short moments passed before he continued. "...So?" He questioned almost silently.

"So..." Bucky's face flushed darkly with a scarlet red. "I'm not too sure where we should go from here." Steve turned to look at him, pondering his words. "I mean, we're having a kid together...! We had sex, you confessed. We're not exactly just friends anymore, are we?"

The blonde laughed dryly, head shaking. "No, we're not."

"Do you... Do you want to be more than friends, Steve?"

"...More than anything, Buck."

"Then I guess it's settled." Bucky looked Steve in the eyes and offered a small smile. "Will you be my boyfriend, Steve?" As he spoke the words, goosebumps slid along his spine. _Feels weird askin' that_ , he thought humorously to himself.

Steve grinned a bit too eagerly and nodded quickly. "Please." He scooted closer to the other male and grabbed his hands gently. He then proceeded to wrap his calloused fingers over Bucky's rough ones. "I'd love that more than anything."

Bucky watched Steve practically beam and laughed. He glanced down at their hands and couldn't help the embarrassed smile that grew on his lips. "This is kinda weird, isn't it?"

The blonde brought their hands up to his lips and pressed a soft, light kiss on Bucky's palms. He kept his lips pressed against the man's hands as he spoke. "What is, the fact that you're a guy and you're pregnant with your best friend's kid, or that you're dating the same guy who's been after you for decades?"

A few silent moments full of thoughtful thinking passed before Bucky laughed. "Both, I guess." Steve smiled at the sound he loved to classify as angelic and pressed another kiss to the man's palms.

"Well get used to it. Weird's the new normal, these days."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my favorite chapter, so I really hope you guys like it ;"))


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A big decision is made.

“So…” Steve began after he smothered Bucky in kisses that the brunette shyly accepted. “You’re saying that you have no recollection of Tony’s party? Not a single thing?”

The other man nodded simply. “Yeah. All I remember is you taking me there and then leaving me halfway through the party. Dick move, by the way.” He laughed playfully, joking.

Steve smiled apologetically and kissed Bucky’s head. “To be fair…” He started. “Forgetting the most intimate moment of quite possibly your _life_ is way more dick-ier than me ditching you to prep myself for confessing to you.” He pressed another kiss to his head and chuckled when the man rolled his eyes.

“Someone sure is cocky.”

“What can I say? You bring out the best--and maybe the worst--in me.”

Bucky looked up at him. “What do you mean the worst?” He questioned curiously. The blonde hummed lightly, thinking his words over. He opened his mouth to speak after a few minutes.

“Not necessarily the worst. It’s more like… Like you’re my dark side.” Bucky scoffed lightly as he interrupted him. He didn’t mean to get offended, it just happened.

“You’re telling me I’m all the bad things about you?

Steve sighed. His eyebrows furrowed as he tried rewording his sentence. “No, I meant it as in you’re everything I don’t show people. You’re my ruthless side, I guess would be the way to put it. If anyone were to so much as threaten your life, I’d… Well, I’d stop at nothing to make sure you were safe. Even if I had to go against the government, my friends, civilians--anyone. That’s not really something Captain America is known for, is it?”

The brunette nodded slowly, satisfied but also surprised with his lover’s reply. He thought silently for a few moments to himself. Steve eventually went back to watching TV after he decided he should stop watching the man he’d loved for decades, lest he noticed Steve’s affectionate gaze and grew uncomfortable. He kept an arm around the man’s waist, however.

A while passed before another word was spoken. And when one was, it sparked a conversation that Steve was not ready for.

“Do you want to keep the baby?”

“...” Steve exhaled softly, stunted by the question. Bucky watched him critically. “Do you want me to be honest, Bucky?”

“Always, Stevie.”

“Then, in my honest opinion, without holding anything back,” The blonde spoke each word slowly, almost as if he was testing out the waters. “I don’t think we should. Every other day, we’re evading the end of the world. It’s a routine. Go home, get some sleep, wake up, and stop whatever threat there is that day. Bringing a baby into a life like this, I couldn’t bear the thought of it.”

Bucky was silent for a few moments as he processed the man’s words, head nodding absentmindedly. He glanced between Steve and the TV a few times.

“I understand.” He said after a bit.

Steve looked at him with careful eyes. He gently rested his hand on his shoulder and rubbed it. “You don’t have to, Buck.”

“I know, I know. But if I’m gonna have a kid, I don’t want it to live a life full of fear. Because that’s the life it’ll have. It’ll wake up not knowing if its parents are still alive or if it’s ever gonna see them again. I don’t want our kid experiencing that type of trauma. I’ve gone through shit like that, and it ain’t fun… Trust me.” He sighed softly and leaned into the man’s touch.

Steve nodded understandingly and brought him close. He wrapped his arms around his waist a bit tighter and held him.

“You’re about two months by now, right?”

“Think so. Haven’t really been keepin’ count. Natasha does that for me.”

The blonde laughed softly and pressed a gentle kiss to the other’s head. Bucky chuckled with him before he nuzzled his face into Steve’s neck and effectively muffled the sound.

“You’ve always been like that.”

“Like what?”

“I don’t know how to describe it. Carefree? You always used to just shrug things off. If I got into another fight and you had to beat the crap out of the other guys cause I lost and got beat to a pulp, you shrugged it off and did what you had to do. Half the time, it was overkill, what you did to them.” Steve began to laugh as he recalled the distant memories. “That’s somethin’ I always admired about you.”

“Oh yeah?” Bucky looked up at the blonde with his signature smirk, obviously flattered.

“Yeah. While I was getting mad at any and every single guy that looked at me wrong or disrespected me or someone else, you were taking what they said with a grain of salt. I used to wish I could be like that.”

Bucky smiled widely as he pulled away. He felt more than flattered. He felt like he was sky high, soaring through the clouds and looking down at everyone and everything. To hear that Steve thought so highly of him when they were nothing more than kids warmed his heart and pleased him to no extent.

To think that Steve, the kid who used to wanna pick a fight with you if he so much as even thought you were too cocky, felt that way about Bucky, who was just that, was absolutely unbelievable.

Bucky grabbed Steve’s hands and held them tightly in his own.

“You don’t know how happy it makes me to hear you say that, Stevie.”

“Yeah, well,” Steve stopped mid-sentence as he gave a comforting squeeze to their conjoined hands. “You don’t know how happy it makes me to hear you say that you’re happy. It’s all I ever wanna hear.”

The brunette laughed at the blonde’s sappy claims and shook his head. “And I thought I was the lady killer. You know with the way you speak, it really shows that you’re an artist.”

Steve frowned playfully, secretly fawning over his words. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It just means you’re real creative, is all.” Bucky rested his head back against Steve’s chest and sighed softly, content. The younger man chuckled and laid them back on the couch. Bucky then re-positioned himself on top of Steve so that he was comfortable once more.

“Thank you.” Steve murmured.

The other man merely hummed in response, exhaustion starting to creep into him. It didn’t take long for him to fall asleep on top of his blonde lover.

Steve gently rubbed Bucky’s back as he slept. His eyes were trained on the top of the man’s head, stare focused on every strand of brown hair that grew out of the man’s scalp. If he could have, he’d have gladly counted each mud-colored lock. It was impossible, however, so he settled on merely admiring the other’s soft hair.

Eventually, his mind wandered to the alien inside of Bucky. He felt a sense of pride well up in him but quickly ignored it. To feel anything besides sadness and regret for the dim life force would have been a bad thing, he decided. He couldn’t give the kid anything other than a worrisome life. And that, in his eyes, was not a life.

He closed his eyes slowly.

It was a bit saddening, he thought to himself, that their first kid together would not make it out of the womb. Truth be told, he was starting to regret his decision. The thought of building his own family had never occurred to him, but faced with the possibility of having one--well, all he’d ever say about his decision was that maybe he answered a bit too quickly and carelessly.

He yawned quietly and closed his eyes. _No use in dwelling on it. It’d be mean to go back on my decision._

Slowly, he fell asleep. Thoughts of Bucky and the family he could have had infiltrated his mind as he dozed off, and when he dreamt of them, a half-smile was on his face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did y'all expect them to decide on not keeping it? >;DDD I have a lot of stuff planned for this story that's probably unexpected, so I hope you guys are shocked ;"))) Sorry for updating late, btw! School finally started up ;-;


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve gets flustered so Bucky tests the waters out.

The fresh smell of bacon and eggs was the first thing that alerted Bucky's senses. Next came the mildly soft humming of a song the man did not know. He stretched out his tired muscles, feeling strangely well rested, then stood from the couch and walked to the source of the sounds and smells.

A smile made its way to his lips when he arrived inside the kitchen and saw his blonde lover lightly swaying his hips as he hummed and flipped a pancake. Stealthily, he stalked to the man and pounced.

Steve yelped and quickly turned around to look at him, wielding a spatula in his hand defensively. Bucky burst into laughter when he saw.

"Bucky!" The blonde yelled, a pouting tone in his voice. He huffed playfully and shook his head at the man. "I almost had a heart attack 'cause of you...!"

The other continued to laugh, shoulders shaking as he did. Inhaling a few deep breaths to calm his laughing fit, he sighed in content after a few moments. "You sure you haven't had one already? I know how much you dig me, Stevie. I bet just looking at me gets you all hot and bothered~." He smirked playfully, a seductive tone in his voice that he made all too intentionally.

Steve stared at the other man with wide eyes, a dark scarlet red blush on his cheeks. He blinked quickly after a few seconds passed. He scoffed, trying to hide his embarrassment.

"You sure are cocky, aren't you?"

"Well, I wouldn't be a man if I wasn't, doll."

The blonde rolled his eyes instinctively as he resumed flipping his pancakes. "Last time I heard, men don't get pregnant."

Stunted, Bucky huffed. His lips pursed poutily as he leaned against the counter and watched the man. "Not my fault HYDRA figured it was a good idea to fuck up my entire being. Probably put a womb inside me and gave me a uterus." His eyebrows furrowed as he thought over his words. Steve glanced back at him momentarily.

"Is that even possible? Can they do that?" Bucky asked, honestly curious. He hadn't actually given it too much thought.

Steve shrugged and after turning the stove top off, began layering pancakes on two plates. "I don't know. Technology has gotten way more advanced than back in the day. You can even change your sex now. Honestly wouldn't be surprised if they made it so that guys could get pregnant."

The brunette nodded simply and hummed, choosing to remain silent and watch the blonde work. Once Steve finished loading the plates with food he handed one to Bucky while he held his own. The other thanked him before starting to eat.

Breakfast passed by in a relatively calm and warm silence. It was only when the brunette let out a discomforted breath did the two exchange words.

"You alright?" Steve asked immediately, the sound not going past him unnoticed.

"Somewhat..." With an annoyed huff, Bucky began to massage at his pecs, annoyance clear on his face. Steve stared at him blankly, a bright red blush slowly but most definitely surely starting to dust his cheeks. It took the other man a few moments to notice his friends stare.

"What?" He asked in a confused tone.

"Y-you're..." Steve stuttered the word out quietly before going completely silent. How was he going to word it? You're rubbing your nipples and it's making me uncomfortable but also mildly turned on? You're doing the same thing you were doing the night we made love? The way your nipples poke out through your shirt is really erotic? The man's eyes quickly shot to the floor as he thought the embarrassing questions.

He then glanced back up when Bucky tapped his shoulder. "Steve? Buddy?"

"Y-yeah?" His voice cracked obviously as he half-yelped, half-whisper-shouted the response. His blush turned darker at the way his voice betrayed him. God, he must look so suspicious right now.

Bucky stared at him in a calculating manner for a few moments before squinting his eyes and tilting his head. "You're thinking about something weird, aren't you?" Steve paled at his question.

"I, uh..." He rubbed the back of his neck as he trailed off. His prolonged silence confirmed Bucky's suspicions. The brunette laughed softly before donning the smirk that always made Steve's insides melt.

"What's got you all hot and bothered, doll~?" A wink followed the brunette's attempt at seduction.

At a loss for words, the blonde merely stared at the other man with wide eyes, a racing heart, and a blush so red it easily toppled Natasha's hair. His throat suddenly felt dry.

Bucky chuckled at the man's shyness before proceeding to hop off the counter and strutting to him. His smirk turned devious as he trailed his hands up Steve's body, fingers practically teasing the blonde with his light, barely there touches. He focused on the other male as he glided his hands across his torso and up his neck.

As obvious as it was that Steve was too embarrassed to talk, Bucky's own shyness was evident. He seemed confident in his actions, of course he did. But truth be told, he was more of a rookie than Steve was when it came to this.

That's probably why he bottomed at Tony's party, he concluded.

He'd never been with another man--the idea was completely foreign to him. Add Steve to the mix, and Bucky found that he was suddenly clueless when it came to sex.

However, he didn't allow his actions to falter. His right hand trailed lightly up the blonde's neck. The goosebumps that instantly covered Steve's skin felt pleasant against his palm, so he pressed his hand against the man's flesh a little harder.

He took note of how soft Steve's skin actually was before forcing himself to resume his sensual touches. His eyes focused on his right hand whilst he let his left hand wander down the blonde's body. It wouldn't have been too crazy to say his brain was on autopilot at that very moment.

As soon as his metal hand's palm reached the waistband of Steve's pajama pants, he heard the blonde inhale sharply. He quickly tore his eyes away from his other hand (which was now cupping Steve's cheek, it's fingers grazing the man's lips) and looked up at him.

He sent a questioning glance his way.

"We should stop." Steve spoke slowly, voice almost strained as he struggled to keep his hands off of Bucky.

"Why?" The other asked, confused, relieved, and a bit disappointed.

"You're nervous." Steve stated simply. The excuse threw Bucky off. That was the reason?

"Well, no duh...! It's my first time doing this...with another guy sober, you know? Of course I'd be." Flustered, Bucky shook his head and attempted to resume his previous actions. He just about had his hand halfway in the blonde's pants before he was stopped once more.

Steve inhaled a deep breath, an attempt to remain calm, then exhaled shakily. He spoke once he felt he was ready to. "That's exactly why we should stop, Buck." The words left his mouth gently so the brunette didn't feel embarrassed or rejected.

"But--"

"But nothing. We're rushing into this, Buck." He carefully slipped his hand over the man's and pulled it out of his pants as he spoke. "I don't want this relationship to end just because you felt that you needed to do this. Let's take this slow. I don't want our second time to be a complete mess."

Embarrassed and mildly dejected, Bucky remained silent as he watched the other man stare at him. Steve sighed softly before placing his palm against his cheek. He cupped it delicately as if it was antique china.

"I'm not rejecting you, Buck. I just know how you are. You're going along with it because you think it's what I want. And trust me, I do..." He inhaled another shaky breath. "I really do, but you're not ready. So neither am I."

Bucky was finally able to muster up a few words once Steve finished.

"You're sure you're OK with that? I can do it, Stevie. I'm not too sure I'll be keen on bottoming again, but I can at least show you a good time." He chuckled softly at his words. The blonde male smiled slightly.

"It's like I said before. I won't ever force you to do anything you don't wanna do. Now come on," He stepped back from Bucky. "Let's finish breakfast before it gets cold."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IT TOOK ME ALMOST A MONTH TO UPLOAD OH MY GOSH----
> 
> IM SORRY


	13. Chapter 13

A knock sounded from the blonde's door and interrupted the two men's talking. Steve got up after excusing himself then strutted to the door. Opening it, he was surprised to see Sam and Rhodey.

"Hey." Sam greeted with a smile. "Didn't think you'd be up."

"Yeah, I just..." Steve quickly glanced back into his room and motioned for Bucky to hide. He looked back at the two men with a nervous grin. "Alarm clock was too loud. What, uh, what are you guys doing here?"

Sam rolled his eyes in a playful manner before pushing past the blonde and entering his room. Rhodey followed suit. "I know you, Steve. You probably just planned on staying home all day and watching sad romance movies."

He plopped down onto the couch where Bucky had been moments prior and silently took note of the disheveled state the cushions were in. He glanced at Rhodey with a suspicious glint in his eyes. The other male sat across from him.

"Sam was tellin' me you and Bucky got into a real nasty argument. How you holding up, Cap'?"

"Uhh, not too bad, I guess." The blonde rubbed his neck nervously. He stood while the two men sat and further observed the room calculatingly.

"Did you sleep on the couch?" Sam asked suddenly. Steve's hand faltered at the question.

"Y-yeah. Kinda just passed out. I was pretty exhausted last night."

"Yeah... Alright." Leaning back against the couch, Sam relaxed. "Anyway, Rhodey and I just decided to come by and see how you were doing. Figured you might wanna come with us and hang out."

"Tony might come." Rhodey chirped in, smiling. "Maybe you and him can talk."

Steve offered a small, weary smile. He shrugged his shoulders. "I don't know, guys. I'm kinda tired. I might have to take a raincheck."

"Steve." Sam looked up at him, eyes suddenly serious. "It's not going to aid you any, staying inside like this. You need to get Bucky off your mind. I know it'd be too much to ask of you to try looking for someone else, so I won't. But what I will ask is for you to attempt to meet new people or at least focus on the ones you have right now." He gestured to Rhodey and himself as he spoke. "You have a whole group of people that love and care for you, don't focus on the one guy who doesn't."

Rhodey nodded in agreement. "He's telling you the truth, Steve. We all really care for you. So far only I know, but I can bet you anything that if everyone else knew what you were going through right now, they'd all be here too."

Both men stared at Steve in what the blonde could only describe as deep concern. He sighed softly before a smile took its place on his soft lips. "Thanks, guys. Really. It means a lot to know you guys are here for me in my time of need."

"Of course, Steve."

"Don't mention it. You'd do the same for me."

Nodding, Steve forced another smile on. His anxiousness was growing to be too strong, he needed to do something to get them to leave. It was obvious they already thought something was up. It'd only be a matter of time before they figured out just what that thing was.

"So what do you say? Come out and have a good time with us, or stay inside your room and..." Sam looked around the room, pausing. "Do whatever it is that you do in here."

"You don't have to say it like that." Steve laughed, faking offense. The other two men joined in, chuckling at the mock pouting face he wore. As they all laughed and exchanged joyous grins, Bucky listened in on them from the bathroom. He couldn't help the twinge of guilt and jealousy that flooded through him. He felt bad that he'd made such a bad impression on the two men, but could also care less, because, to put it simply, he was Steve's friend. No matter what. They weren't.

The sound of passing footsteps quickly pulled the brunette out of his thoughts. He stilled, heart racing. For a split second he could have sworn he heard a pair of footsteps stop outside the room before continuing to walk. He exited the bathroom once he was sure everyone was gone.

He sighed heavily. _Great._ Now he was alone. Deciding to do Steve a favor by cleaning the mess they'd made, he began picking up around the living room. His mind drifted a few times to the fetus inside himself, but he quickly pushed the lingering thoughts about it away. If he was being honest with himself, he was a bit disheartened about his and Steve's decision. It seemed like a wasted opportunity, the baby. Maybe this could've been the thing that made them normal, that allowed them to leave their lives behind.

But, in the end, when he thought clearly, thoughts like that were dangerous, so he ignored them.

He began to hum quietly as he cleaned his lover's living space. There wasn't much to pick up, Steve had always been a bit of a clean freak, but he still did his best to make the space cleaner than it was before. He _was_ a guest, after all.

He was done before he knew it.

A soft huff left him. With nothing else to do, he should have just gone back to his own room and waited for Steve to be done with the others. But he was the man's lover now, it sounded better if he waited for him to come back. Maybe he was getting ahead of himself?

He swiftly shook his head at the question. Of course he wasn't. Steve was probably _hoping_ he'd be there when he got back. And, truth be told, he didn't quite want to leave. He'd only been with Steve for going on two days, and he'd already felt like the world was lifted off his shoulders; the feeling was comparable to how he used to feel before the war--if he was remembering correctly.

So, plopping down onto the couch, he made himself comfortable. He switched the TV on and for a while, was able to block out whatever annoying thought tried to pop into his head.

However, it didn't take long for him to grow bored of whatever was playing. Quickly, thoughts of when he should get the abortion and tell Natasha found their way into his head, a groan leaving his plump lips because of the sudden intrusion. When should he tell her? _How_ should he tell her, first of all? Should he just come right out and say it? Or should he ease her into it?

Whatever way he decided to break the ice, he knew it wouldn't go down the way he wanted. The woman had no clue he had been having doubts about the kid, let alone him and Steve actually agreeing on getting rid of it. She'd most likely beat his ass either way, solely because he kept certain information away from her.

He sighed heavily, mild annoyance in the sound. Regardless of whatever second thoughts he may have been having, they were all gone now.

_This is way too much trouble for one kid._

He sent her a text, one that read if she was still using that number and if she was doing OK, before laying back on the couch and closing his eyes. If the thoughts wouldn't go away, he'd just ignore them by going to sleep. He'd deal with them when he woke up.


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve and Natasha talk.

Days went by, and Bucky did not deal with the thoughts that plagued his mind almost every single waking second. They'd become increasingly worrisome. When was he going to get the abortion? When would Natasha come back so that he could tell her the news? Would there be any complications while he got the abortion? Did Steve have any doubts about his decision? Did _he_ have any?

A loud groan left him as he laid back on his couch, dark bags under his eyes. He'd been doing his best to block out the thoughts, but it seemed as if today wasn't going to allow him to do that. At least he wasn't having any nightmares, he reminded himself.

He closed his eyes as a sudden wave of exhaustion hit him. The symptoms, he noted, had become more and more drastic. There were days where he couldn't even _stomach_ the thought of a specific food or brush against his chest without wincing because of his oversensitive nipples. He may have not been an expert on the subject of pregnancy, but he damn sure knew the symptoms weren't that strong at such an early stage.

Slowly, he began to drift off into a dreamless sleep. Steve slipped into his room right as he passed out. He hummed a soft tune as he walked into the man's room, carrying a bouquet of flowers.

"Sorry, I'm late, Buck. Sam just refuses to let me be by myself. He and Rhodey even managed to get Tony to speak with me again. It's actually kinda nice you know?" As he walked over to the living room area, he finally noticed Bucky's current state.

The blonde laughed softly when he saw. He quietly tip-toed over to him then ran his hand through his hair, relishing in the softness of the brunette's locks. He stared at Bucky in silence for a few long moments before taking a seat on the floor at the edge of the couch.

A quiet breath left him as he thought over his current situation. He honestly hadn't even thought about it the last few days--he'd just been busy enjoying the way he was being spoiled.

Bucky, he recalled, had been bedridden the past week. Normally he'd have stayed with him, but the brunette had made it clear he just needed to rest--he'd, "dealt with worse."

For a while, he allowed himself the undeserved pleasure of gently petting Bucky's soft hair. He would have continued to do so for an even longer while, too, if it wasn't for the loud buzz that came from the sleeping man's phone. Steve leisurely pulled his hand away from Bucky's hair and reached for the phone on the coffee table.

He briefly glanced at the notification before abruptly opening the message and beginning to type a message, fingers excitedly tapping a greeting. It was a message from Natasha, one that read, "Hey. :)".

How long had it been since he'd last seen the woman, let alone _talk_ to her? Too long, he concluded after a few moments. Bucky had done an excellent job at hogging her to himself.

'Natasha! Hey, it's Steve. Bucky's currently asleep, sorry about that.' He paused, thinking over what to say next. It would probably be best to keep the message short and sweet--after all, knowing Natasha, she was on a mission.

'How have you been?' Pressing send once he felt the message was long enough to get what he wanted to say out but short enough to not waste time that could potentially save her life, Steve set the phone back where it was and sat back.

It took, surprisingly, only a few minutes for another buzz to sound from the phone.

'Hey, Steve :). Haven't heard from you in a while. I'm good, and you?'

A smile quickly formed on the old man's plump lips. Just by talking to the woman did he feel better already--and he wasn't even feeling down!

'I'm fine, great actually. Things have gotten better with me and Buck. I'm really happy with him...haha.'

Another few minutes passed after Steve sent the message before the redhead responded. 'Lol, I can tell things are better...you're on his phone. :P Bucky wouldn't have let you near his phone if he still was upset with you. So? Give me the details, and don't skimp out on the good ones!'

After reading her message, Steve blushed profusely. He knew Nat was Nat, but even over text, she couldn't have been at least a _little_ PG? A few coughs left him as he awkwardly tried to clear his throat. He spared a quick glance at Bucky before typing out a speedy response. If he was caught now, he'd be in trouble.

'Nat, you're so embarrassing...I'm not even going to attempt to wrestle with that one. Are you coming back soon? :('

Waiting for her response, he tapped his fingers on the coffee table, thumping the beat of an old song he'd been introduced to by Rhodey. It took more than a few minutes to get a response back.

'I should be back soon. I might stop by my apartment though. It's getting stuffy at Tony's, I need some alone time, lol.'

Steve rolled his eyes as he began his response. 'You know the agreement, Natasha. We have to stay with Tony for a while, to try and earn back his trust and forgiveness? We did kind of turn on him, you know?... You included.'

Natasha's response was quick and short, that time.

'You're just like a mom. See you soon, Rogers.'

Her response earned a smile from the blonde. He sent back a smiley face, which mirrored his own expression perfectly, before setting Bucky's phone down. Just as the small electronic met with the cold surface of the coffee table, the brunette began to stir, a discomforted grunt leaving him. Steve quickly turned to look at him.

"Buck." He grinned, turning around to look at him warmly. He rubbed the older man's belly as he slowly woke up. He didn't mean to, actually. The action just, somehow, displayed perfectly the happiness he was feeling, much like the simple smiley face he sent Natasha did.

Bucky was surprised nonetheless by his touch though, and it showed on his exhausted face.

"Hey...' He looked down at Steve's hand which was still nonchalantly rubbing his stomach. "Forgot you were coming, you took so long." He chuckled softly, the sound raspy, and began to sit up as slowly as he could without bothering the headache he somehow managed to get while he was passed out. Steve's hand slipped off of his belly once he was sat up completely.

Steve chuckled sheepishly as he rubbed the back of his neck with the hand he'd just used to violate Bucky's stomach--or at least, that was how the other man would have put it if he had to describe what Steve just did to him.

"Sorry, Buck. I got caught up with..." Steve quickly reviewed what he was going to say before he actually spoke it, and quickly came to the conclusion that it would be best to change his story up a bit.

Over the last few days since discovering Bucky was pregnant, Steve had done a bit of research on pregnancy symptoms. One of the symptoms that had stuck out most to him was the extreme mood swings a woman went through. Putting two and two together, Steve figured that, since Tony was more than just a touchy subject with Bucky, it would be best to keep the millionaire's name out of his mouth.

"I got caught up with Sam. He kept bugging me about working out with him." He took a seat next to Bucky as he spoke, cozying up with the man right away. He had sensed that the other man was in pain, so he wrapped his arm around his waist and forced--but not really--him to lay against him. Bucky rested his head on his shoulder thankfully, glad that he had something warm to distract the throbbing in his temple with.

"Hm..." The ex-assassin hummed softly, the sound a half-assed response. He quickly began to doze back off. "That's cool...tell him I said hi.."

It didn't take long for Bucky to fall asleep once more. He was in far too much pain to want to deal with any of it head on--he'd just sleep it off. That seemed to be how he solved most of his problems nowadays...

Steve chuckled softly, murmuring an amused, "I will," before pressing a kiss to the man's temple.

He watched TV as his lover slept, hand once more on his belly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> RIP Stan Lee ;"(( Took me a while to update and give my condolences, but he deserves even a late one  
> He was a really great guy ;")
> 
> Sorry for updating late..like always----


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Natasha surprises Bucky.

Bucky woke up with a jolt, having felt something cold land on his stomach. He quickly shot his eyes open, defenses up, before realizing just what that “something” was.

“Natasha!” He grinned at the female happily. “I didn’t know you were coming back so fast!” He ignored her hand on his belly and instead pulled her into a tight hug, not giving the woman one chance to get a word in.

Natasha laughed lightly and merely hugged back. “Geez, Barnes, you’d think I was gone for months with how tight you’re holdin’ me.” She joked playfully before eventually pulling away from the brunette’s hug. Her eyes trailed right back to where they were a few moments prior once they were separated.

“So…” She started, quickly glancing up at him. Bucky’s mood quickly dimmed when he realized what she was going to say.

“So…” He repeated nonchalantly, trying to avoid the subject.

“ _So_ …” Natasha rolled her eyes as she planted her hand once more on his belly. “How have things been lately? Is the little stinker giving you trouble yet?” She smiled fondly at his stomach as she asked him the playfully affectionate question. As sharp as she was, it seemed that she didn’t catch his reluctance to address their baby situation.

With a light sigh, Bucky--a bit unwilling, as he was nervous--lifted her hand gently off of his stomach. He ignored the confused look she quickly sent him and did everything but make eye contact with her. He really could have used Steve’s presence right then.

Exhaling heavily, he began the descent of their conversation head-on. “Listen, Nat…” His teeth chewed on his bottom lip anxiously. “Steve and I, we, uh...well there’s no other way to put this. We decided we aren’t going to keep the kid. It’s just...It’s not safe. _We’re_ not safe.” Unconsciously, he ran his hand through his hair, his long fingers running through a few knots.

The light pain from the tugging did a lot to keep Bucky from panicking that very moment, so he pulled at his hair a few more times before eventually continuing. “Steve is America’s golden boy for God’s sake…! And I’m a fucking HYDRA runaway! It’s only a matter of time before someone catches me, before shit with Tony and Sam and every other fucking person that hates my guts decides to take me away or kick me out! Or until people catch wind of the fact that Captain fucking _America_ and The Winter Soldier are having a family together!” A humorless laugh quickly left Bucky with a sharp breath, his hand once more tugging at his hair.

“Or--or, better fucking yet, people realize how insane it is that a man is pregnant, and they do what people have always done when they face something different.” Bucky’s eyes shot up to Natasha’s as he spoke, panic laced in his voice and radiating from his aura. “They’ll kill me. They’ll kill the kid. They’ll do something fucked up, and Steve or you will try and do something about it. And then they’ll ruin you guys too.”

He stopped speaking abruptly and began to pant, the rush of his words’ escape leaving him breathless. His head hung as he did so. He, unashamedly, was terrified of what Natasha was going to say or do. She wouldn’t do anything drastic, he knew that, but his fear of her doing _nothing_ was what scared him the most. If she said nothing--did nothing--and only nodded her head, Bucky would lose his mind. He hated the disappointment in a person’s eye when they looked at him--even if the person disappointed in him was someone he could give two shits less about.

Natasha, though, only stared at him for a few seconds before pulling his nearly-catatonic self into a hug. “James, _relax._ ” She murmured softly, though her tone was still as strong and dominating as ever; Bucky did what she said obediently and allowed his muscles to loosen up. “No one’s going to hurt you or the kid. I swear. Sam and Tony aren’t gonna do anything either, if they know what’s good for them.”

She pulled away slightly as she spoke so that she could make eye contact with him and push her words further--make him actually believe them.

“Now seriously, calm down. I respect your decision. It’s your body, it’s your’s and Steve’s choice.”

When Bucky’s eyes lit up at her words, she smiled softly and pat his cheek. There was a slight hint of disappointment though, which was just what Bucky feared he would see in her. “But I just…”

The veteran stared at her, waiting for her to finish intently. What would she say?

“I just...Nevermind. It’s stupid.”

“Nat.” Bucky gripped her hand tightly when she did finish, her response not satisfying him in the slightest. It only, if anything, spiked his anxiety even more. “Tell me. Seriously. Nothing you say is stupid.”

A soft chuckle left the redhead from the man’s serious declaration. “Nothing? Well, I bet Clint would beg to differ.” She smiled lightly before she proceeded to squeeze his hand back and then get up, eventually continuing where she left off. “What I was going to say was...what if you kept the baby?”

“Nat…” A sigh left Bucky, and he remembered again what regret felt like.

“Just keep listening.” She ruffled his hair quickly, the touch a bit rough, then began to pace around. “Bruce and I, we’ve been thinking about leaving. We’ve been thinking about it for years, actually; we’ve just never had the right reason to. The world’s always on the brink of collapsing, and neither of us really has the balls to just up and leave--it’s always been inconvenient.” She looked at him, hoping he was starting to understand where she was going, then resumed.

“Neither of us wants to live like this until the day we don’t save the day, and the bad guy wins. We’ve figured out what we want in life _together_ , and that isn’t it. Anyway,” She smiled and sat back down next to him, her hand coming to rest on his shoulder. She pat it gently. “I’m sure you know by now how I can’t have kids. The Red Room kinda…you know. Do you see what I’m trying to say, James?”

Bucky, after trying his best to process her words, shook his head. Truthfully, he didn’t understand what she was attempting to say. What did her and Bruce have to do with him keeping the baby?

“Sorry, Nat.” He answered apologetically, which in return only gave him an exasperated smile. The woman remained patient, though. She was always good at being patient.

“What I’m _trying_ to say is…” Natasha’s hand, which was still on his shoulder, gripped him a bit tighter. She was anxious, and Bucky could tell. “I want you to carry the baby. For me and Bruce.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There might be a few mistakes, sorry!! I'll try and edit them once I get some sleep--
> 
> Also---
> 
> Did you guys like the plot twist????? I'm pretty sure it's never been done in a story like this? So I hope it really surprised you guys ;")))


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve and Bucky come to an agreement.

“You want me to _what_?” Bucky asked incredulously, his eyes wide and mouth slightly agape. He didn’t hear her right, he _couldn’t_ have heard her right. She wanted him to carry a baby--his and Steve’s baby--for her and Bruce?

Natasha sighed, the sound sheepish. “I completely understand if you don’t want to, James. I know it’s asking a lot of you.”

Bucky quickly nodded in agreement; it was. But then...he stopped staring at her in disbelief. It...honestly didn’t sound that bad--once he thought objectively about it. Natasha and Bruce deserved to have a family of their own, the fact that the redhead wanted _him_ to help start it meant more than she knew. It was a definite self-esteem booster, as he didn’t have too much faith in himself nowadays. At least someone other than Steve still trusted him.

“It’s not that! I just…” He looked up at her, unsure. “I need to talk this over with Steve.”

Natasha nodded immediately. Just hearing him say he would talk it over sent her heart racing. She was never much of a dreamer--she’d never been one, actually--but the man had just opened a whole new world of possibilities for her and Bruce; she couldn’t help but fantasize.

“Of course, James.” She pressed a gentle kiss to his cheek before she stood up. As if she had been planning it, Steve entered the room, and she began to bid her farewells.

“Talk to you later.” She flashed Bucky a wink before giving Steve a pat on the shoulder as he walked by and then leaving.

Steve sat next to the brunette gingerly, a cup of coffee in his hand. As he took a sip from his cup, he looked over at Bucky in a curious manner. “What was that about?” He questioned, completely oblivious to the things Natasha and his lover had just talked about.

Bucky slowly looked over at Steve, unable to hide the awestruck look in his eyes, and gripped his free hand. “I…” He looked back away quickly, though he kept his hand on Steve’s. As he thought over what he was going to say, he squeezed the other’s fingers tightly.

As oblivious as Steve may have been about everything else, he could at least tell that Bucky was anxious. It was, after all, fairly obvious.

“Stevie, um…” Bucky began hesitantly, teeth nearly grinding his plump, bottom lip, before he trailed off. Steve only watched him patiently, his eyes’ comforting gaze slowing the brunette’s heart rate a bit once he finally looked at him. Leave it to Steve to calm him down with just a look…

“Nat, she...She asked me somethin’. Something fucking _big_ and I need your help on answering her.” The fact that he had managed to utter the words out surprised Bucky, and it left him breathless as he waited for Steve’s nod of approval. Steve simply stared at him in confusion, his odd look enough to let Bucky know he could continue.

“She asked me to carry the fucking _baby_.” Bucky watched him critically as the words left his mouth, almost as if he was speaking in slow motion. He could hear the words leak out, coated in _his_ voice, and could even hear the damn adrenaline rushing through his veins, but couldn’t comprehend just what they meant _still_.

What the fuck was Steve going to say?... Well, Bucky didn’t actually want to know, so he decided to keep talking. “Her and Bruce are going to retire, and you already know how Natasha can’t have kids, so they think we should…” A heavy intake of breath, a pause, and then Bucky continued once more, “They want us to carry the baby for them so they can have their own family.”

It was like confessing he was pregnant all over again; Steve was staring at him in disbelief, and Bucky’s heart was racing erratically. His thoughts were nearly identical to what they were before. Was Steve going to believe him? Would he reject the idea? If he did then….what would _Natasha_ say?

That was what Bucky was afraid of most. He didn’t ever want to see Natasha wearing a look of disappointment, let alone be the cause of it. She had helped him out far too much for him to just let her down. So...praying to whoever the fuck was up there, Bucky wished for Steve to say yes--even if he himself hadn’t yet made a decision.

“I…” Steve slowly began, causing Bucky’s attention to shoot to him fully. The blonde man chuckled softly, the sound a bit pressured, before giving him his best smile. “I think...well, I think it’s up to you.”

To say that Steve’s response surprised him would have been an understatement. It fucking _shocked_ him. It was _his_ choice? _Only_ his?

Bucky stared at his blonde lover incredulously. He couldn’t believe it. Steve really had nothing to say?

“You…” He said softly, his tone borderline angry, “You don’t have anything to say? It’s just my decision?”

Steve, having always been more than adept at knowing Bucky’s emotions, heard the annoyance in his voice easily and brought his hand to the man’s shoulder in an attempt to calm him. “Yeah, Buck...It’s not my decision. It’s not my _body_.”

“No, it’s not, but it is your damn kid!” Bucky ripped his shoulder away from Steve with a glare and then shot up. A bad decision, really, because as soon as he did that, a wave of nausea hit him. He ignored it though, his anger at Steve outweighing any other feeling he was having. “You don’t have anything to say?! You’re just going to let me decide?!”

The veteran’s sudden mood change didn’t go unnoticed by Steve. If it did, then Steve would have had to be blind and deaf. Nonetheless, it was worrying how strong and erratic Bucky’s mood changes were, but he decided to pass it off as symptoms of the pregnancy. A pregnancy that was causing both of them a lot of stress, actually.

“Buck, I can’t choose this for you. If you want to keep the baby for them, then you can do that, and I’ll support you wholeheartedly. If you want to get an abortion, I’ll still support you. You know where I stand on this subject, anyway.”

“I do, Steve, but it’s not enough! I don’t want to be the only person making this decision! I’m not the person who fucking planted the seed, Steve. I’m just the fucking--the soil! The _soil_ , Steve! Nat and Bruce could be the gardeners, but that’s not my decision...” With a heavy huff, Bucky looked up at Steve, who had stood up a few moments prior, in frustration. Whatever the fuck he had just blurted out, he hoped would make Steve understand how important he thought his opinion was. 

“They could be the people we make a flower for...but I don’t want to be the one who makes that decision alone. I need you, Stevie...You’re the one who fucking put me in this position, so help me out.” An exhausted sigh left Bucky once he finished, one that wracked his entire body with fatigue.

If it wasn’t enough that he was nauseous, he was also tired; tired of feeling sick, tired of having to deal with shit even _after_ he escaped HYDRA, tired of being pregnant--tired of _everything_.

All he wanted was Steve’s opinion on this, was that so much to ask for?

Collapsing back onto the couch when another burst of exhaustion flooded through him, Bucky groaned. This was getting old. He rubbed his eyes tiredly. He was just tired, that was all…

Sensing this easily, Steve slowly sat back next to him and let his own small sigh out.

“I’m sorry I’m making this so hard on you, Bucky.” He then began to rub his shoulder soothingly, continuing with his apology. “I promise I’ll step up and take on the role I have. I’m the baby’s dad, I’m sorry I’m not acting like I am.”

Slowly, Bucky turned his head so that he could face him. He remained silent, which was a cue for Steve to continue to apologize. The blonde let a soft laugh leave him before he proceeded to do just that.

“I think you should--I think _we_ should keep the baby. Natasha and Bruce deserve to have their own family, especially if they’re trying to quit the superhero life. Let's do that for them.” Steve smiled warmly at Bucky as he then moved his hand to his belly. The ex-assassin looked at him with wide eyes.

“Really…?”

Steve laughed again, though a lot louder and more carefree. “Yeah. Besides,” He leaned into Bucky’s neck and pressed a few kisses against his jaw and nape. “It’d be nice to see what they’re going to look like, don’t you think?”

He looked up at the gruff man from his spot at his neck and smiled adoringly. Bucky blushed from his look and only nodded.

“Yeah...It would. I hope they have your eyes.”

“I hope they have your lips.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm actually terrible at updating, I'm soRRY
> 
> Anywayyy, I really hope you guys like this chapter ;")))


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Big news is in store.

Maybe, Bucky thought to himself sourly as he stood outside Natasha's room, hand-in-hand with Steve, he rushed into this. He was completely up for carrying the kid for Nat, it'd have been frustrating if he wasn't at this point, but actually going about telling her and _doing_ it was what was killing him.

He loved the widow with all his heart, but the thought of having to shit a kid out of god knows where horrified him. Not only that, but he was experiencing excruciatingly painful cramps, headaches, and dizziness.

It was too late to voice his concerns anyway though, so as he stood in front of the door and watched it with his blonde lover, he sucked it up.

"Ready?" Steve asked him softly, going so far as to even squeeze his hand in a comforting manner. As always, he could tell Bucky was worrying.

"Ah... Sure." The assassin let an awkward chuckle out then grinned at the other. There was no point in worrying Steve any further.

Taking his lover's word, Steve nodded and knocked on Natasha's door. He would have just entered with Bucky, the widow had done that to them more times than he could count, but he decided not to. He wasn't there for a social visit, so he should be serious--not that he wasn't already.

A few moments passed before Natasha was opening the door. Both men inhaled a silent, nervous breath.

"Oh, Steve, Bucky, hey." With a mildly surprised look, the widow quickly recovered and smiled at the two. "What's up?"

"Nothing much..." Steve began slowly before Bucky quickly intervened; his nerves were far too wrecked for them to start the conversation off slow.

"We thought it over. Can we come in?"

Shocked, Natasha nodded immediately. It had been only a day, maybe two if she had somehow lost count, they were already sure of their decision? Needless to say though, Natasha was excited anyway.

Moving out of the way, she ushered the men in. Once they entered, she quickly shut the door.

"Make yourselves at home." She murmured softly, making her way around them almost erratically. She was shaking with excitement as she sat down on a sofa, one that was across from the spot the two men had settled down on. Her fingers rattled against her thighs impatiently-- _what was their decision?_

"So..." She started slowly, a helpless grin on her pink lips. "What do you guys say?" She spared a glance at Steve as she asked the question. It was important to her that Steve knew she valued his opinion, too.

The men gave each other a quick look before speaking. "We're honored you picked us to do this for you, Nat. We're more than happy to carry the baby for you and Bruce." Steve smiled warmly at the redhead across from them when he finished. Bucky also smiled at her, feeling a bit relieved. Now that _some_ weight was lifted from his shoulders, he could breathe. Truth be told, he appreciated when Steve took control. He really doubted he would have been able to tell her.

Silence then passed for a few moments, a slightly uncomfortable tension in the air. Natasha wasn't saying anything... Looking at her, Steve and Bucky were then quickly surprised when the widow started to tear up, and very quickly cry.

"Natasha...?"

"Thank you, guys...!" Natasha sprung up from her spot on the couch and gave the men a tight hug. Tears were running, though _sprinting_ also sufficed as a descriptor, down her face but at that moment, she could care less. She was going to be a _mom!_ Bruce was going to be a father--they were going to be _parents!_ She looked like a mess, but really, who gave two shits? Not her.

Pulling away, she sniffled and dabbed at her eyes. "I can't say thank you enough..." Natasha smiled through her tears happily. It was the truth! Bucky and Steve were giving her everything she had ever wanted, she'd never be able to repay them.

Steve only laughed though, his own tears welled up in his ocean eyes. "You don't need to. Just let us visit, alright?" He joked with her playfully. His remark made her laugh, which then resulted in Steve laughing. Radiating enough happiness to put Disneyland to shame, the two friends embraced each other quickly.

After a few moments, Natasha then glanced at Bucky. He was _really_ the person she owed everything to. He was going to put himself through hell! Mind, body, and soul, he was going to give everything he had, and for _her_. If that wasn't true friendship, she didn't know what was. So, smiling at him, she pressed a kiss to his bowed head.

"Thank you, James... Really, thank you." She looked down at the seated brunette with joy for a few moments, seconds which were doused in silence on Bucky's end, before furrowing her red brows in confusion. "James... you alright?"

Again though, Bucky remained silent. Steve then took notice and in a concerned manner, gently touched his lover's shoulder.

"Bucky...?"

Finally, as if he just heard his name called, Bucky looked up at the two slowly. A pained expression was on his face.

"Guys..." He let out a quiet, agonized groan and clutched his stomach as if to show that was where the pain was. "I'm not feeling too good..." To further prove his pain, he then swayed, body first going backward and then going forward.

He would have fallen forward had Steve not quickly caught him.

"Bucky! Hey, pal," The blonde man pulled the other up so that he could get a better look at him, making sure to hold him carefully and securely. "Can you see?" There was alarm in Steve's forcibly gentle voice. As quickly as he became overjoyed, he became concerned.

He knew Bucky hadn't been feeling too well, and he knew he should have tried better to help him, but as usual, he always chalked it up to just being side effects of the pregnancy. But now? _Now_ , Steve wasn't so sure it was just because of the baby.

Bucky didn't respond to Steve's question. Instead, he idly stared at him, a dazed look in his eyes, before suddenly fainting.

"Bucky?" Steve gave him a gentle but urgent shake. "Buck!"

Just as he was about to begin to panic, Natasha laid a firm hand on his shoulder. "We need to take him to Bruce." She too was worried, but unlike Steve, she could remain calm under pressure.

Hurriedly, she rushed the men out to the elevator and then ultimately to her car outside of the Stark tower—not before bumping into Tony, though.

"Hey there." Tony said casually, a sleek eyebrow raising as his brown eyes glossed over Bucky in Steve's arms. He then whistled nonchalantly. "Bucky-boo drink too much?" An amused chuckle left him before he then approached the unconscious man. "Thought you super-soldiers could handle your liquor."

Had Steve not quickly stepped back from the playboy's hand, Bucky would have been touched by him, and he would have freaked out.

"Listen, Tony, this isn't a good time." Natasha intervened, speaking for the blonde. "We'll tell you later, alright?"

Then, before anyone else could speak, she was pulling Steve outside the large building and once more, to her car.

The drive to Bruce's place was an anxiety-ridden one.

Once there, the trio—Steve still carrying an in-and-out-of-consciousness Bucky—rushed to his doorstep and banged heavily on it. Within moments an agitated and mildly green Bruce was yanking the door open.

"What do you _want_?" He said angrily, quickly, before stopping abruptly as he realized the annoyances were actually his friends and lover.

"Bruce." Natasha ushered out an apologetic smile as she quickly leaned up to peck him on the cheek. "Sorry to drop by out of nowhere. We need your help though."

She then motioned to Steve and Bucky. Bucky had awoken once more and Steve was worriedly trying to ask whether he was ok. The sight alone of the men murmuring soft reassurances to each other made it clear to Bruce that nothing, in fact, was alright.

He quickly urged them in.

"What's the problem?" Bruce questioned Steve as he grabbed a lab coat from a coat hanger on the front door. _Better skip the formalities_ , he thought direly to himself.

America's golden boy set Bucky carefully down on the shifter's couch before answering.

"Bucky, he's..." he trailed off, unsure of what to say. There was a lot wrong with the ex-assassin. Where should he even begin? "Bucky is pregnant. Somehow, someway, he got pregnant with my kid and he's been sick since."

Stunted, Bruce stared at Steve and then quickly glanced at Natasha before once more turning back to the man.

"Uh..." He rubbed his eyes in mild disbelief before he allowed himself to quickly recover. "Never mind the literal impossibility that men can't get pregnant... have you stopped to think that maybe he's just sick from the side effects? Most... _people_ tend to experience symptoms that are caused by pregnancy."

"That's what I thought too. But he just passed out before saying his stomach was killing him." Steve stared at Bruce in frustration, eyebrows furrowed. He was scared, worried, and annoyed. He _knew_ there were side effects to being pregnant, he wasn't dumb. Obviously there was more to it than just that—otherwise, he wouldn't be there. "He's been in and out the entire ride here. He only just woke up."

With a heavy sigh, Bruce nodded and again rubbed his eyes. He had seven Ph.D.'s, none of which were in the OB-GYN field.

"What are the symptoms?" Asking the question directly to Bucky, Bruce watched the man with calculating eyes.

It took a few moments— _long_ moments—before Bucky could speak.

"Uh..." He scratched his head groggily. His head was _killing_ him. "Headaches...vomiting, sore nipples, cravings, cramping...the usual." An exhale left his parched lips. "Mood swings, too." Bucky looked up at the shifter slowly. Now that he could actually think, or mildly at least, he realized every single thing that had been happening recently was now known to another person. Had his throat not been drier than a desert, he would have groaned.

"Well," Bruce began, "It sounds like a normal pregnancy to me." He then pulled out a small notebook from his pocket and began to jot down what Bucky had just said. "How far along are you?"

Natasha then spoke for Bucky. Knowing him, he wasn't keeping count. "Three months. Just turned three, actually." She smiled a bit as she rolled the number over in her head. _6_ more months to go.

Bruce nodded once more, jotting down his lover's words. After adding a few more additional, observational notes he had taken of Bucky, he looked up at the trio.

"It is a bit unusual that you're still experiencing vomiting. The cramping too... I'm not sure that's normal." Maintaining eye contact with primarily Bucky, Bruce wore a serious look. He wasn't an OBG, so he wouldn't know for sure whether what he said was of any importance. He also wouldn't know if it wasn't, so it was better, in his opinion, that he treated it as if it was.

He then looked at Natasha and Steve. "We'll have to take him to an actual clinic first, but..." He offered them a comforting smile. "Until then, it's best that he not push himself. You'll need to take things easy, James. I have a friend who owns a clinic. I'll see if I can't get her to let us borrow a room, give you an ultrasound."

Bucky nodded complacently with Steve. He didn't know what would happen once he got the ultrasound, nor what would happen once they found out what was wrong with him. He just hoped that nothing would be too bad...

Truthfully, he was scared. And it hurt to admit that. History had proven many times, after all, that fearing something— _anything_ —was a death wish.

At least now though, he had people to rely on; he had Steve.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IM SO SORRY IT TOOK ME SO LONG TO GET THIS CHAPTER OUT!!!!! I hope you guys like what happened tho! Also, DID YOU GUYS SEE ENDGAME???? It was so sad DXXXXX
> 
> Such a great movie though! How have you guys been? <3


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky gets an ultrasound.

After a few days had passed, Bruce was finally able to get Bucky an appointment at his friend’s clinic. When the day came, Bucky went with Natasha and Steve.

As Bruce got the supplies ready, Bucky mentally prepared himself for whatever news was to come. He was as prepared as he could be by the time Bruce was done.  
“According to the movies, you should lay down and lift your shirt up.” The shifter chuckled lightly, his attempt at a playful joke. He knew what he was doing--for the most part, at least.

Bucky simply nodded plainly and did as told. With his stomach visible for all the world to see, he felt more exposed than he had ever; he was _embarrassed_. The feeling only worsened when Natasha excitedly pointed out a small bump on his stomach. 

If he was being honest...he hadn’t even _glimpsed_ at his body since he found out he was pregnant--and it wasn’t even as hard as he thought it’d be. 

“Oh my gosh…!” Natasha squealed softly, her hands at first moving to touch the bump before she quickly pulled it back and instead chose to cover her mouth. “Bruce, look…!” 

Bruce looked, and puzzled, offered Natasha a small smile. He wasn’t quite sure what he was supposed to say...he was happy for Bucky and Steve? Of course he was, but that didn’t mean he knew what to say about a baby bump. It was their baby, not his.

“Alright, I’m going to put the gel on your stomach now. Just a head’s up,” He muttered softly, beginning to squeeze some of the gel onto Bucky’s bump, “It’s going to be cold.”

The warning was late, so it didn't do Bucky any good. Still, it was the thought that counted...or something like that. Bucky didn’t care. He just wanted this over with. He needed to figure out why the _fuck_ he was so sick.

It wasn’t long before Bruce was waving an electronic ‘wand’ against the ex-soldier’s stomach, and the black-and-white, distorted picture of his stomach was visible on the large TV screen in front of them. Making sure the speakers were on so that they could hear the baby’s heartbeat, Bruce continued to move the wand around until he found what he was looking for.

Finally, after what felt like forever, the sound of a heart beating filled the otherwise silent room. At the same time, the image of a small baby took place on the TV. Natasha and Steve both gasped while Bucky stared and listened silently.

“They’re beautiful…” Natasha said softly, tearing up. She looked at Bruce as she reached over to grasp his hand gently. Her movement surprised him, as he looked at her in confusion. She was acting awfully sentimental over someone else’s baby…

“I need to tell you something, Bruce. After the ultrasound, ok?” 

He nodded simply, doing his best to just resume his work. Bucky wasn’t the only who just wanted to get it over with, nor was he the only tired person. 

“There’s your baby…” He said with as much optimism as he could muster. He turned to Steve and Bucky and offered a smile. “We can’t tell what the gender is yet, but in a few more weeks we can.”

“Thank you, Bruce.” Steve grinned at Bruce happily, making an attempt to shake his hand before he realized the shifter was still busy. He blushed in embarrassment and instead settled on holding Bucky’s, who was still silent, hand. “That’s me and you, Buck…”

“Yeah…” Bucky muttered almost inaudibly. He couldn’t understand anything. The thing inside him, it was _real!_ He was seeing it for the first time now and...and he didn’t know what to say. This was no longer a dream. It was a reality.

Before he could begin to panic, Bruce spoke. 

“I don’t mean to cut things short, but let’s move on to the problem at hand now, yeah?” 

“Yeah.” Bucky agreed. He did not want to think about the alien inside him. Nor did he want to look at Natasha and Steve, both of whom were staring at him in puzzlement. Guess he should have been happier, he thought sourly to himself.

Bruce once more began to move the wand around, this time searching for the uterus he was sure Bucky had. A few times he murmured unintelligible things to himself.  
“This is strange…” He said softly, brows furrowed. The image on the TV didn’t make any sense to the other three, so when he finally spoke loud enough for them to hear, they turned their attention to him.

“What is?” Steve asked worriedly, asking what all of them wanted to. Leave it to him to take charge, even when it had nothing to do with him.

“Well, now that I can see things a little bit more in-depth, Bucky’s pelvis is not nearly as wide as it needs to be.” Bruce then stopped his hand’s movement and turned his attention completely to the trio. “With just that alone, he might not be able to give birth to this child. Naturally, at least. Not only that, but his uterus and cervix are strangely placed. I know the Germans experimented on soldiers but I didn’t know they did things like _this_. He has everything he needs to create a baby, but it barely looks functional...”  
Once he said the last part, he looked at Bucky.

“Have you ever menstruated, James?”

Bucky stared at him for a few moments, lost, before it dawned on him. He immediately reddened. “What? No! I’m a guy, don’t forget that.” He turned away, more than embarrassed. Natasha had to stifle a laugh.

Bruce, however, only nodded slowly. “I don’t know how they did it, I really don’t.” A heavy, frustrated sigh left him. He had seven Ph.D.’s, none of which were helping him now. “You _need_ to menstruate, otherwise you don’t release hormones, and the egg your body is supposed to release doesn’t grow. I don’t know how you and Steve conceived this baby if there was no egg to be fertilized, but it happened. What I do know is that it is affecting your health. I’m going to need to take a few X-rays, James.”

The entire time, Bucky was silent. He was rolling the shifter’s words over when Bruce settled a hand on his shoulder, a slightly mournful look on his face. 

“This could be life-threatening.”

Before he had a chance to speak, Steve was speaking for him. 

“Life-threatening? How? Is there anything you can do?” Already, there were tears in his eyes. Bucky noticed and after wiping the gel off of his stomach and fixing his shirt, sat up so he could hold him.

“I’m not sure yet, Steve. I’m sorry.” Bruce then began to clean up. Delivering bad news was never one of his strengths. “I’m going to talk it over with my friend, show her the ultrasound and X-rays I’ll take, but there’s not much I can tell you. I have a feeling James is going to go under the scalpel, though.” As he peeled off the gloves he was wearing, he spared a glance at Steve and Bucky. “A C-section sounds like it’s the best option.”

By the time Bruce had finished, Bucky was up and out of the room. If the pain he had been dealing with previously stressed him out, this would be the straw that broke the camel’s back. Steve then quickly walked out after them, having murmured a rushed ‘Thank you.’ 

Natasha stayed behind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things are getting even WORSE---
> 
> Also I'm super sorry if things aren't accurate, I have no idea how periods, ovulation, or the female reproductive system work--I just have them lmAO
> 
> Anyway, I hope you guys will stay tuned!! <3

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Never go to a Stark Party... and on mission afterwards.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/15722808) by [Ely_Pines](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ely_Pines/pseuds/Ely_Pines)




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